Aziz Ansari Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I would just die if some little girl saw me jump into bed with someone in the movies, and then she did it and got AIDS and died.
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I went through a training camp; I worked extremely hard. I prepared for UFC 200. This was the big one. This one meant everything to me.
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The reasons asthma doesn't affect my work or play is that I had accurate diagnostics and follow treatment regimens closely. It's when someone thinks they're fine and that they don't need help that they usually get in trouble.
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I live in the suburbs, the final battleground of the American dream, where people get married and have kids and try to scratch out a happy life for themselves.
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The goal in life is to be solid, whereas the way that life works is totally fluid, so you can never actually achieve that goal.
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It really is no different in the way that we make records and shoot music videos. I don't think of the movie as being a great leap out of my current profession.
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I don't care about how much other actors get.
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Hollywood would make a holocaust an animated comedy if people would pay to see it; they don't care... they just want your money.
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Ecuador has about 700 kilometers of border with Colombia, and a lot of it is impenetrable jungle.
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You have to shelve a lot of your inspiration. There's only so much you can do with one record.
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My parents would have loved it if my brother or I had become a doctor or lawyer.
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You know, I had the music baskets and the writing basket. And I had the acting. And those eggs just hatched first, and the others were slow to incubate.
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I will not have Botox. You know why? Because I eat! I eat the fat, I eat the vegetable, I eat everything. If you exercise and you don't eat enough, it takes its toll on the skin.
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It's funny. Some people remember that a lot more than I do. I remember certain parts of it, and if everybody who mentioned that to me had been to the game who said they were at the game, there'd be 800,000 people at that game, I think.
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Had I to do it again, I would have been a math major, probably a double major, and did take a lot of math classes, but I would have taken a lot more.
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I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.
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We have these old fashioned ideas. For instance, here in America, we talk about democracy - but we don't have a democracy. There are elements of a democracy.
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What point was there in pursuing an ever-elusive popularity?
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My wife and I got to go onstage at a Flaming Lips concert at Webster Hall once. We dressed up like Scientology aliens and danced around. We had a shootout onstage with Santa Claus.
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I have the natural ability to pick things up a lot faster than I think most people would.
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I have never advised the destruction of life, but of property, yes.
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We are developing a media policy which would be about breaking up single ownership of too many sources of information so that we have a multiplicity of sources.
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You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.
