Maria Semple Quotes

I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!'

Maria Semple

• Movie
• Comedy
• Police

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Quotes to Explore

• There are people who think I should be using the position of secretary of state simply to weigh the scales on the side of my own party. I just don't accept that, and it would not be proper.

  

  Sam Reed
  • People
  • Think
  • Party

• I remember everything from 1976. I remember I was 14, and I remember my routines.

  

  Nadia Comaneci
  • Remember
  • Everything

• We are creating the new Atlanta, along with Rich Homie Quan and Young Thug. We bring the spaghetti, put it in the bowl, mix it together, and we make the new Atlanta.

  

  Quavo Migos
  • Together
  • Young
  • Rich

• I'm prepared for Amir Khan moving swiftly - or for whatever style he comes out using. I prepared with sparring, in the style similar to what he uses.

  

  Canelo Alvarez
  • Moving
  • Style
  • Whatever

• The idea that happiness could have a share in beauty would be too much of a good thing.

  

  Walter Benjamin
  • Good
  • Happiness
  • Beauty

• An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five-year-old.

  

  Carl Van Vechten
  • Will
  • Questions
  • Ordinary

• I quit college. I was studying architecture for about a year.

  

  Barry Mann
  • College
  • Architecture
  • Year

• We are all Julian Assange. Serious reporters discuss classified information every day - go to any Washington or New York dinner party where real journalists are present, and you will hear discussion of leaked or classified information. That is journalists' job in a free society.

  

  Naomi Wolf
  • Real
  • Job
  • Society

• Just because you have a disagreement with your friends or family members does not mean there are not plenty of other areas on which you see eye to eye. It just means you have a difference of opinion.

  

  Victoria Osteen
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Opinion

• I may play some exhibition games so I don't want to quit the game of chess completely. I just decided and it's a firm decision not to play competitive chess anymore.

  Garry Kasparov
  • May
  • Game
  • Want

• I see a lot of comments on Twitter and stuff about how ugly I am, how bad I am at the drums, how awkward I look, and I'm like, yeah, I agree with most of those things.

  

  Patrick Carney The Black Keys
  • Twitter
  • Awkward
  • Drums

• Usually, I just don't care what I look like. If it's cold, I'm, like, putting on whatever I have to to be warm.

  

  Zendaya
  • Care
  • Cold
  • Warm

• Cancer didn't change me at all. I know lots of people talk about the life revelation. I didn't have that.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • People
  • Life
  • Change

• I believe that if you have revolutionary potential, you must make the world a better place and use it.

  

  Lady Gaga
  • World
  • Believe
  • Potential

• Honestly, I just love great performers and people who love what they do.

  

  Zendaya
  • People
  • Great
  • Love

• India is the most competitive manufacturing destination on this planet. If we are able to take advantage of that competitiveness for our domestic markets, this country would be humming with activity; industrial production will grow at 10-11% per year.

  

  Baba Kalyani
  • Country
  • Year
  • Grow

• I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.

  

  Rachel Dratch
  • She
  • Remember
  • Funny

• 'Matterhorn' is my metaphor of the Vietnam War - we built it, we abandoned it, we assaulted it, we lost, and then we abandoned it again.

  

  Karl Marlantes
  • War
  • Lost
  • Vietnam War

• I think every woman in their life wants to give a good face smack.

  

  Mallory Jansen
  • Life
  • Good
  • Woman

• I think fashion shows are a full stop. You need a point where there's no return, and fashion shows create a 'That's it; that's the finishing line.'

  

  Jonathan Anderson
  • Stop
  • Fashion

• I knew I could never be an actor as a man. It just doesn't work, you know? And so when I was doing drag, I realized I could do that kind of stuff, and then when I was transitioning, I kind of gave up on the whole thing because I didn't think that this time would ever come, you know?

  

  Candis Cayne
  • Up
  • Time
  • Work

• You've got a nice neck for choking.

  

  Gene LeBell
  • Nice
  • Neck
  • Choking

• The movie I'm really excited about that I had really fun doing is 'Feed the Dog.' It's with Nat Wolff and Selena Gomez. It's really fun. It's raunchy, like 'Superbad' meets 'Risky Business,' kind of. I got to be a really fun character, an out-there Mrs. Robinson-type character. I get to seduce Nat.

  

  Elisabeth Shue
  • Business
  • Character
  • Movie

• I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!'

  

  Maria Semple
  • Movie
  • Comedy
  • Police