Maria Semple Quotes

I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!'

Maria Semple

• Movie
• Comedy
• Police

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Quotes to Explore

• There are people who think I should be using the position of secretary of state simply to weigh the scales on the side of my own party. I just don't accept that, and it would not be proper.

  

  Sam Reed
  • People
  • Think
  • Party

• I remember everything from 1976. I remember I was 14, and I remember my routines.

  

  Nadia Comaneci
  • Remember
  • Everything

• We are creating the new Atlanta, along with Rich Homie Quan and Young Thug. We bring the spaghetti, put it in the bowl, mix it together, and we make the new Atlanta.

  

  Quavo Migos
  • Together
  • Young
  • Rich

• I'm prepared for Amir Khan moving swiftly - or for whatever style he comes out using. I prepared with sparring, in the style similar to what he uses.

  

  Canelo Alvarez
  • Moving
  • Style
  • Whatever

• The idea that happiness could have a share in beauty would be too much of a good thing.

  

  Walter Benjamin
  • Good
  • Happiness
  • Beauty

• An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five-year-old.

  

  Carl Van Vechten
  • Will
  • Questions
  • Ordinary

• I quit college. I was studying architecture for about a year.

  

  Barry Mann
  • College
  • Architecture
  • Year

• We are all Julian Assange. Serious reporters discuss classified information every day - go to any Washington or New York dinner party where real journalists are present, and you will hear discussion of leaked or classified information. That is journalists' job in a free society.

  

  Naomi Wolf
  • Real
  • Job
  • Society

• Just because you have a disagreement with your friends or family members does not mean there are not plenty of other areas on which you see eye to eye. It just means you have a difference of opinion.

  

  Victoria Osteen
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Opinion

• I may play some exhibition games so I don't want to quit the game of chess completely. I just decided and it's a firm decision not to play competitive chess anymore.

  Garry Kasparov
  • May
  • Want
  • Game

• I see a lot of comments on Twitter and stuff about how ugly I am, how bad I am at the drums, how awkward I look, and I'm like, yeah, I agree with most of those things.

  

  Patrick Carney The Black Keys
  • Twitter
  • Awkward
  • Drums

• Usually, I just don't care what I look like. If it's cold, I'm, like, putting on whatever I have to to be warm.

  

  Zendaya
  • Care
  • Cold
  • Warm

• My dad was always such a frustrated artist. He always worked very hard to support his family, doing a bunch of ridiculous jobs. He wanted to be a painter, but then he also wrote science-fiction novels in his spare time.

  

  Rainn Wilson
  • Time
  • Family
  • Science

• Cancer didn't change me at all. I know lots of people talk about the life revelation. I didn't have that.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • People
  • Life
  • Change

• I believe that if you have revolutionary potential, you must make the world a better place and use it.

  

  Lady Gaga
  • World
  • Believe
  • Potential

• Honestly, I just love great performers and people who love what they do.

  

  Zendaya
  • People
  • Great
  • Love

• India is the most competitive manufacturing destination on this planet. If we are able to take advantage of that competitiveness for our domestic markets, this country would be humming with activity; industrial production will grow at 10-11% per year.

  

  Baba Kalyani
  • Country
  • Year
  • Grow

• I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.

  

  Rachel Dratch
  • She
  • Remember
  • Funny

• 'Matterhorn' is my metaphor of the Vietnam War - we built it, we abandoned it, we assaulted it, we lost, and then we abandoned it again.

  

  Karl Marlantes
  • War
  • Lost
  • Vietnam War

• I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires.

  

  John Cleese
  • Desire

• If privacy ends where hypocrisy begins, Kitty Kelley's steamy expose is a contribution to contemporary history.

  

  Eleanor Clift
  • History
  • Privacy
  • Hypocrisy

• All of us aspire to be powerful, and we all want to connect with others.

  

  Deborah Tannen
  • Powerful

• If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences.

  

  John Oliver
  • Work
  • Comedy
  • Communication

• I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!'

  

  Maria Semple
  • Movie
  • Comedy
  • Police