Conan O'Brien Quotes

Yesterday, the country of Kosovo unveiled an 11-foot tall statue of former President Clinton. Yeah. That's right. The Clinton statue is so life-like, it's already been slapped 12 times.

Conan O'Brien

• Life
• Country
• Kosovo
• President Clinton

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Quotes to Explore

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• I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization is the influence of good women.

  

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• I really enjoy getting to go and play on other people's shows for an episode or two. It adds such variety to my repertoire.

  

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• The great thing about America is I've never felt like an outsider. I'm just a different piece of the puzzle.

  

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• If you have more money than your lifestyle, then you can either do something stupid or smart. That's not much of a choice. That's like saying, 'You are on the roof. you can either take the elevator, or you can jump.' That's not a choice.

  

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• I've always been taught that hard work doesn't fail.

  

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• I'm really silly. That's the thing that people don't get.

  

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• More than 820 million people in the world suffer from hunger; and 790 million of them live in the Third World.

  

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• You forget that sometimes comedy is just a big night out for people. Almost every show, people come up to me and go, 'This is the first comedy show I've ever seen,' so you want to do well. If you do horribly at somebody's first time seeing live stand-up, well, you've not only tainted yourself, you've tainted a whole art form.

  

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• I have admired David Bromley's work for years. He possesses such a wild and vivid imagination and really sees the beauty in everything.

  

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• A system of education is not one thing, nor does it have a single definite object, nor is it a mere matter of schools. Education is that whole system of human training within and without the school house walls, which molds and develops men.

  

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• Now that I'm gone, I tell you, don't smoke.

  

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• People really love editorial cartoons, and I think publishers understand that.

  

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• I am going to confront the old-fashioned negative thinking which says that all government needs to do to generate growth is cut worker and environmental protections, cut taxes on the rich and stroke 'fat cats' until they purr with pleasure. I'm completely repudiating the idea that government has to get out of the way.

  

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• Employees that feel known and they feel like they know why their job matters and they have a sense of measuring it stay later, do extra work, and are committed to the organization above the requirements that they have.

  

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• Not a lot of people know this, but I'm very good at mathematics. When I was an angry teenager, I used to sit in my room and do quadratic equations to calm myself down.

  

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• Cato, being scurrilously treated by a low and vicious fellow, quietly said to him, "A contest between us is very unequal, for thou canst bear ill language with ease, and return it with pleasure; but to me it is unusual to hear, and disagreeable to speak it." There are none more abusive to others than they that lie most open to it themselves; but the humor goes round, and he that laughs at me today will have somebody to laugh at him tomorrow.

  

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• Yesterday, the country of Kosovo unveiled an 11-foot tall statue of former President Clinton. Yeah. That's right. The Clinton statue is so life-like, it's already been slapped 12 times.

  

  Conan O'Brien
  • Life
  • Country
  • Kosovo