Colin Quinn Quotes
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Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.
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When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.
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You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
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Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
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Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
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It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.
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The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
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I always wanted to write as much as perform.
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I like guy stuff.
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I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write.
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I was a class clown.
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I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.
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I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
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Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.
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Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.
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I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
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I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.
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I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
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The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.
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You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
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I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.
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People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.
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I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.
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My name has zero value.