Chris Rock Quotes
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Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
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Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars. And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. I'm thinking, 'I've got 45 grand left!' Taxes didn't even come into my equation. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. We live in this baller, spend-money culture.
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. It's the personality of a guy who hasn't been able to say what he wanted to say.
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You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
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I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
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Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
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I love being famous. It's almost like being white.
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Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
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I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.
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I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
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There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
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Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
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A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
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My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.