Chris Rock Quotes
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.
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Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
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I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
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No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
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My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
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Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
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When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
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I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.