Chris Rock Quotes
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
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I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
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I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. It's the personality of a guy who hasn't been able to say what he wanted to say.
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
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Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
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Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
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Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
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After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
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There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.