Fart Quotes
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I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman.
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Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in the room can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action is denial.
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A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
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Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.
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Right now, the old guys, the old farts, if you will, are still running the show, and the women haven't gotten their place yet at all.
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Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice.
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When I was at school I got lines for dropping a big squelchy, loud fart. My teacher, who was a priest, made me write 'I must not fart in class' 100 times. I left that school shortly afterwards.
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I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right.
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If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
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Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is. Come let us fart in the home. There is no art in a fart. Still a fart may not be artless. Let us fart and artless fart in the home.
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You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!
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Rock n' roll is for the young idiots, not an old fart like me.
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Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
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I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
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The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
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We're being treated to the wisdom of some puffed up, little fart. Doing exactly what I used to do, pretensions to anarchy and art.
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A fart is not only a political statement; it is also a weapon.
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I'm such an old fart that I started buying books on film and TV and radio and music when, for television, the entire shelf of books was only a couple of them. You go into the '70s before you start getting books on TV that you start wanting to collect. And by the time that you get to something like the Brooks and Marsh book it's invaluable. My house got hit by lightning in 1989 and burned down. And I got more than a half dozen Brooks and Marsh books sent to me by friends immediately, as though that's what you need more than clothes or food. That's how treasured that book was.
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Heat radiated off Henry's face. Salty snot ran down his upper lip. A majestic fart propelled him to the top of Section 12, just at the springing of the stadium's curve. He slapped the sign as if high-fiving a teammate. It gave back a game shudder. He was crusing now, darkness be damned, stripping off his sweatshirt and his long underwear top without breaking stride.
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Every man knows the smell of his own fart.
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Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God must fart and burp as well.
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...And nostalgia is a cancer. Nostalgia will fill your heart up with tumors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you are. You're just an old fart dying of terminal nostalgia.
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No matter how politely one says it, we owe our existence to the farts of blue-green algae.
