Marion Barry Quotes
I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
Quotes to Explore
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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I don't have the looks to compete at a bar, and I'm not that funny. So the last thing I want is to be in a situation where that's what I'm competing on. I'd rather be on OkCupid or Match, where I can write a 300-word essay about myself that's really good.
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There was a time when I was practicing law in New York and I wanted to find something else to do. So I ended up leaving the practice of law to pursue my art and it just happened to be out of Lego bricks.
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When you put the pressure on yourself, it's not good. If you fight afraid to lose, you wind up not fighting that good.
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The most important of all rights is the right to life, and I cannot foresee a day when domesticated animals will be granted that right in law.
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There was no United States before slavery. I am sure somebody can make some sort of argument about modern French identity and slavery and North Africa, but there simply is no American history before black people.
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Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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These Scriptures, therefore, are infinitely far from justifying the slavery under consideration; for it cannot be made to appear that one in a thousand of these slaves has done any thing to forfeit his own liberty.
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Today, music is great for entertainment, but it is lacking soul; it's lacking substance, and it's difficult to find good stuff. There are too many corporate interests. It's not about the actual music because it's about the corporation, and music just becomes part of a package.
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Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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It's so funny: at 'SNL,' Bill Hader always kind of treated me like his little sister and would kind of, like, lovingly bully me.
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The right to marry is vital in society. It's a right that's older than the Bill of Rights because it goes back to the common law.
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I refuse to accept that the shackles of slavery can ever be stronger than the quest for freedom.
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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I like children - fried.
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Professionally, I have no major goals. That's partly because I'm really flaky. I want things, but I don't go after them. I'd rather they be placed in my lap.
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Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles.
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I think it is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. Since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. In fact, there are so few people this crazy that I feel like I know them all by first name.
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Keep your sense of self; don't get caught up in what people want you to be.
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I thank my personal staff for their restless sacrifice for my work.
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I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
