Chelsea Handler Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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People are wiser than we are willing to attribute to them.
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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What gets people into trouble with records now is that they want to build something up without substantial musical ideas. Without that as a foundation, you can add all the layers of sound you want - it's still going to sound like a mess.
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I'm a believer in trusting the director.
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I worked as a telemarketer for an SAT-prep company. That was the worst of it, because I had to call people in post-Katrina New Orleans and offer them this very, very expensive SAT class. And I'm not even a good salesman.
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Murderers, in general, are people who are consistent, people who are obsessed with one idea and nothing else.
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The economic dynamic in Zimbabwe is perversely robust: while ordinary people suffer, black-market dealers and people with foreign bank accounts prosper, making them powerful stakeholders in the perpetuation of devastating economic policies.
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We saw very little of the real Jack Buck behind the microphone. He would touch people in ways that we will never know. Jack was much more than just an announcer.
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I'm being mocked because I don't live up to a socially determined view of what other people think a person should look like.
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I've met Michael Keaton, John Favreau, Marisa Tomei - they're all really amazing people and really, really professional. I've learned so much from just watching them operate on set.
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To have a relationship that is pure and passionate and beautiful - I think people are scared of having that now. Especially guys.
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I didn't grow up around all white people; I never wanted to gentrify hip-hop, I've never wanted to speak to an all-white audience.
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I don't have any hobbies. You know, I'm very embarrassed when people ask me what are my hobbies; I don't have any hobbies. I mean, it's just enough to keep up with the things I'm trying to solve.
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I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things.
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The question of likability is a bit of a puzzler for me. You know, I don't write people with likability in mind. It's more whether or not I find them compelling.
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I usually find myself hiking in a place that not a lot of people go hiking, just trying to find some solitude. I like being out in the middle of nowhere. Not always, but it's a good place to go to just reflect and think, and it's something I really enjoy.
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If people are looking forward to my films, then I am happy, and I must be doing something right.
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I didn't invent forensic science and medicine. I just was one of the first people to recognize how interesting it is.
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You are committed to what you confess.
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He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
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I probably would have no capability of absorbing a 60-defeat season as a coach. It would be a foreign experience. My whole career, even as a player, has been on winning basketball clubs and it just seems to have been a part of the make-up of what’s been given me. That’s what I’ve been given and that’s what I’ve had to deal with. Some people can make fun of it or some people can have a good time with it, or some people can resent it. It’s just what it is.
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Few people...have had much training in listening. The training of most oververbalized professional intellectuals is in the opposite direction. Living in a competitive culture, most of us are most of the time chiefly concerned with getting our own views across, and we tend to find other people's speeches a tedious interruption of the flow of our own ideas.
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I grew up with two different parakeets - one that lived for five years, and one that lived for 13 years - so I always had a bit of an attraction to birds and it's an oddly good fit to be in a movie about birdwatchers.
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I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
