Chelsea Handler Quotes
Quotes to Explore
-
People are wiser than we are willing to attribute to them.
-
What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
-
What gets people into trouble with records now is that they want to build something up without substantial musical ideas. Without that as a foundation, you can add all the layers of sound you want - it's still going to sound like a mess.
-
I'm a believer in trusting the director.
-
I worked as a telemarketer for an SAT-prep company. That was the worst of it, because I had to call people in post-Katrina New Orleans and offer them this very, very expensive SAT class. And I'm not even a good salesman.
-
Whenever you have dynamic interactions between 300 million people and the American economy acting in really complex ways, that introduces a degree of almost chaos theory to the system, in a literal sense.
-
Murderers, in general, are people who are consistent, people who are obsessed with one idea and nothing else.
-
The economic dynamic in Zimbabwe is perversely robust: while ordinary people suffer, black-market dealers and people with foreign bank accounts prosper, making them powerful stakeholders in the perpetuation of devastating economic policies.
-
I remember in the '80s, Randy Travis was my guy. He's the reason I moved to Nashville, and I just loved him. But at some point when he was winning everything, you find yourself pulling for other people.
-
We saw very little of the real Jack Buck behind the microphone. He would touch people in ways that we will never know. Jack was much more than just an announcer.
-
I'm being mocked because I don't live up to a socially determined view of what other people think a person should look like.
-
After all, life hasn't much to offer except youth, and I suppose for older people, the love of youth in others.
-
I've met Michael Keaton, John Favreau, Marisa Tomei - they're all really amazing people and really, really professional. I've learned so much from just watching them operate on set.
-
To have a relationship that is pure and passionate and beautiful - I think people are scared of having that now. Especially guys.
-
I didn't grow up around all white people; I never wanted to gentrify hip-hop, I've never wanted to speak to an all-white audience.
-
I don't have any hobbies. You know, I'm very embarrassed when people ask me what are my hobbies; I don't have any hobbies. I mean, it's just enough to keep up with the things I'm trying to solve.
-
I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things.
-
There's always a wine bully. The one person who did read the 'Wine Spectator,' who tells you what to drink and why the '97 is better than the '98. I want to punch the wine bully in the face. I want to make sure this generation of wine drinkers isn't elitist and snotty. I want it to be about family and bringing people together.
-
I think people should be angry at things that are worthy of anger. Injustice is outrageous and deserves outrage.
-
It's not like I cleaned up with girls. I always looked young and I was very small; I hated being 'cute.'
-
When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job.
-
Magic happens when you tell the universe what you want it to do for you; miracles happen when you ask how you can be of service to the universe.
-
So don't get cynical. Cynicism didn't put a man on the moon. Cynicism has never won a war, or cured a disease, or built a business, or fed a young mind. Cynicism is a choice. And hope will always be a better choice.
-
I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
