Chelsea Handler Quotes
My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
Quotes to Explore
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I love my family and I miss them very much but I'm a new person now. I know a lot of people will not agree with what I've done, but it was right for me.
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Writing for children hadn't occurred to me when I was younger, but nine years of teaching in the upper elementary grades had given me a deep appreciation of the gifts and graces that are specific to individuals with 10 or 11 years of experience as human beings.
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Kids are taking music for free all the time. They have Spotify, Pandora... The record companies aren't making the kind of music that they used to make. Artists make their money on tours, not from album sales.
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There's never really been a real hood Christmas movie.
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The fight against child slavery is the fight against traditional mindset, policy deficit, and lack of accountability and urgency for children across the globe.
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My hat's off to Shonda Rhimes.
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I believe that we should be able to marry whom ever we choose. As long as both people are willing... I say go for it!
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By four years of age, the average child in a family receiving public assistance has heard about 13 million words, compared to 45 million for a child from a wealthier family. The disadvantages developed during their first four years are usually still present in high school.
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It's always good to be working.
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If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.
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Ireland, in breadth, and for wholesomeness and serenity of climate, far surpasses Britain; for the snow scarcely ever lies there above three days: no man makes hay in the summer for winter's provision, or builds stables for his beasts of burden... the island abounds in milk and honey.
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I never really ate that bad, I just ate too much. It wasn't like I had to switch to whole wheat bread or something like that. I really just had to eat less of what I was eating, and I had to exercise more.
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I'm lucky because I remember my dad showing me 'Independence Day,' and I loved it.
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D.C.'s a tough place to get love unless you're from D.C. It's like everybody hates you here. The only black person that everyone can agree on is Obama.
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That's my mentality. Just because somebody has fouled me, there is no reason for me to be nasty to him. I try to respect football as much as possible, and when someone is injured, you put the ball out.
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Upon graduation, believe it or not, I had no job. I had no interviews. I had no prospects. I had no worries. What I did have, I had passion. I had enormous passion. I had passion for financial markets. I had fallen in love with financial markets.
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The emphasis on innovation and technology in our companies has resulted in a few of them establishing global benchmarks in product design and development, manufacturing practices and human resource capabilities. However, there is no room for complacency.
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I've always liked to go down a different path. Being a woman of color, I never followed a cookie cutter way.
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Nothing is more real than nothing.
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The repeal of racist language in the Constitution of Alabama was and still is a necessary step in the state's ability to progress.
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He said you were the only one who was bitter about S.'s suicide and the only one who really forgave him for it. The rest of us, he said, were outwardly unbitter and inwardly unforgiving.
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Everyone is taking part in the construction of a new democracy.
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Here's my thinking: Since tax reform only occurs once a generation, let's not tweak what we have and call it a day.
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My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
