Chelsea Handler Quotes
My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
Quotes to Explore
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I love my family and I miss them very much but I'm a new person now. I know a lot of people will not agree with what I've done, but it was right for me.
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Kids are taking music for free all the time. They have Spotify, Pandora... The record companies aren't making the kind of music that they used to make. Artists make their money on tours, not from album sales.
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There's never really been a real hood Christmas movie.
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The fight against child slavery is the fight against traditional mindset, policy deficit, and lack of accountability and urgency for children across the globe.
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My hat's off to Shonda Rhimes.
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I believe that we should be able to marry whom ever we choose. As long as both people are willing... I say go for it!
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By four years of age, the average child in a family receiving public assistance has heard about 13 million words, compared to 45 million for a child from a wealthier family. The disadvantages developed during their first four years are usually still present in high school.
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It's always good to be working.
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If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.
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I never really ate that bad, I just ate too much. It wasn't like I had to switch to whole wheat bread or something like that. I really just had to eat less of what I was eating, and I had to exercise more.
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I'm lucky because I remember my dad showing me 'Independence Day,' and I loved it.
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That's my mentality. Just because somebody has fouled me, there is no reason for me to be nasty to him. I try to respect football as much as possible, and when someone is injured, you put the ball out.
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Upon graduation, believe it or not, I had no job. I had no interviews. I had no prospects. I had no worries. What I did have, I had passion. I had enormous passion. I had passion for financial markets. I had fallen in love with financial markets.
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The emphasis on innovation and technology in our companies has resulted in a few of them establishing global benchmarks in product design and development, manufacturing practices and human resource capabilities. However, there is no room for complacency.
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I've always liked to go down a different path. Being a woman of color, I never followed a cookie cutter way.
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Nothing is more real than nothing.
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cries I just want my friend back!
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Now you're gone, and nobody says a word about your troubled and exalted life. Only my voice, like a flute, will mourn at your dumb funeral feast.
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Applause that comes thundering with such force you might think the audience merely suffers the music as an excuse for its ovations.
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She told me if I clean all the ashes out of the grate, then I’ll be able to help my sisters get ready for the bal.” “It’s Christmas, Dashiel. Can’t you give that atitude a rest?” “Merry Christmas, Dad. And thanks for the presents.” “What presents?” “I’m sorry—those were all from Mom, weren’t they?
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Don't ever in your life do a World Cup and the Olympic Games at the same time. This will make your life almost impossible.
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
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Confidence is sexy. So if you're confident in who you are, that's sexier than anything.
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My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
