Neil Simon Quotes
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Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
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Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.
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You're welcome to take a bath. You look like the second week of the garbage strike.
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You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.
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Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
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Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.
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If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.
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If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.
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I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
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There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.
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Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.
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Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it.
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Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.
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And so she lived…hopefully…ever after.
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New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.
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People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?
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Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18.
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A writer without confidence is like a metaphor without something to compare itself to.
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Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.
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Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.