Bill Engvall Quotes
I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower.

Quotes to Explore
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My mum was a child minder, but now she fosters. My dad was in the police force, and now he's a private detective.
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We think a modern cloud lets you decide when you want to upgrade. We don't decide for you.
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Music is not a work for me - it's a form of meditation, and you don't need to work hard for it.
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I don't ever want to be like a peasant. I want to always be all right. But motivation is fans - not your kids, your mum, none of that. All of that matters, but number one is your fans.
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Before I had a record deal, I was living in New York and playing anywhere I could, from somebody's house to an open mic to coffeeshops.
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Intimate scenes on a movie set are just dry, bizarre things; people standing around.
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Us comics guys tend to get really good at the things we draw a lot. I'm good at creepy old forests, Victorian houses, underground goblin cities, and beautiful but creepy fairies.
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I stuck out more in an English public school than I would have had I marched in a May Day parade with the Red Army in Moscow or sashayed the Yves St. Laurent catwalk with supermodels or hunted seals with the Inuit or - well, you get the idea.
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I have stopped having goals. If you have many goals, and you don't reach your goals, it is very upsetting, so I just think of keeping it simple, working hard and going and playing the game. But I know there are going to be very important series for Indian cricket. I will just try my best to be in my fittest form.
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I hope we can get to a point where women players are being paid properly all around the world so the only thing they have to worry about is playing football and playing football alone.
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I'd see an old person on the street and start crying. I couldn't understand how people could cope, knowing they only had so long left. It would be like dominoes and then the last one fell and I'm a little heap on the floor. Doctors put me on anti-depressants for a couple of years.
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I have a terrible tendency to lick my fingers when I cook. So much so that I got a telling off from my pastry teacher years ago, who said it would hinder my prospects.
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There's no wrong way to experience a film.
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To me, writing an ongoing series feels like driving a freight train downhill. All you can do is steer and pray.
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One of the things that may appeal to teenagers is that vampires never change - they're frozen in that age.
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I got all my politics and culture and my sense of the great wide world of adults from 'Mad Magazine.' But all other comic books literally gave me a headache.
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In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
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Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
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One must use the weapons one finds in one's path.
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Im Gebirge der Wahrheit kletterst du nie umsonst: Entweder du kommst schon heute weiter hinauf oder übst deine Kräfte, um morgen höher steigen zu können.
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It is from the Himalayan forests and ecosystems that I learned most of what I know about ecology.
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Of course, I reserve the right to make wholly stupid changes to Perl if I think they improve the language.
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I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower.