Bill Murray Quotes
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The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.
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If you have someone that you think is The One, don't just sort of think in your ordinary mind, 'Okay, let's pick a date. Let's plan this and make a party and get married.' Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you're still in love with that person, get married at the airport.
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I have a brother who gives socks for Christmas. He gives socks. Every year, I get a pair of socks from him.
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When I work, my first relationship with people is professional.
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You work, you get paid, you drink.
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I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I have hundreds of people waiting in line to abuse me!
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We're Americans! Do you know what that means? It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.
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We're creating a TV show of Scrooge, starring Jamie Farr, with Buddy Hackett as Scrooge. We're shooting in this Victorian set for weeks, and Hackett is pissed all the time, angry that he's not the center of attention, and finally we get to the scene where we've gotta shoot him at the window, saying, "Go get my boots," or whatever. The set is stocked with Victorian extras and little children in Oliver kind of outfits, and the director says, "All right, Bud - just give it whatever you want." And Hackett goes off on a rant. Unbelievably obscene.
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Here's the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don't get there, we're both fired.
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I don't really read the reviews, but I remember one a long time ago I read that said that I had a face like a potato.
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If you have a good script, that's what gets you involved. It's harder to write a good screenplay than to find something.
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If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say 'Did you just see what I saw?!', you'll find that no-one wants to talk to you.
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Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
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This really should be kept secret, but you can learn a lot by watching the making-of DVDs. Every actor should do it. You figure out what you're dealing with.
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I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he’s retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you’re retired, people don’t bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it.
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I count on the kindness of strangers.
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Sometimes I snore, like when I get really tired.
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Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.
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The first year I had money, I really went shopping. I got really caught up in it. I bought all my brothers sets of luggage, and I bought 'em winter coats from Giorgio Armani - winter coats. And I got a pair of socks from this brother.
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Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.
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I don't answer fan mail. I don't have time for that. It's like hundreds of thousands of people who think they're going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don't have time for those idiots. I've got stuff to do.
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I'm just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that's what they pay me to do.
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Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.
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Eh, it's not that attractive to have a plan. I know that if I ever feel that I need to make a funny movie, I’ll figure out how to write one. I’ll get it done. If I ever get some ambition, I’m gonna get some shit done.