Demetri Martin Quotes
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

Quotes to Explore
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Nearly all government advice on terrorism sacrifices practical particulars for an unalarming tone. The usual guidance is to maintain a three-day supply of food and water along with a radio, flashlight, batteries and first-aid kit.
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It amazes me that talking about traditional values is controversial, but it seems to be.
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I like to act. Every other aspect of show business I find uninteresting.
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I've been to a few conventions, you know, when the tax man knocks at the door and the 'Star Wars' convention people say: 'Do you want to come and sign some autographs?'
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I was a scapegoat. The media had to put responsibility on somebody, and I was chosen. They felt free to say that because someone was thin they were anorexic, which is ridiculous.
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I had a great AP U.S. History teacher in Pittsburgh. We still exchange Christmas cards. She was the first teacher who said I was a good writer - and I'd never heard that before. And so I remember that, and I remember that level of loving the material and really loving writing about it.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Ticketmaster does not set prices. Live Nation does not set ticket prices. Artists set ticket prices.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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I feel great physically. I feel really good.
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There's a difference between being posh and being rich.
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The process of reclaiming the self is one of reconciliation with meaning.
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My husband and I were married in May 2007 on a sprawling rent-a-ranch in the Texas Hill Country. On the drive from Houston, we'd stopped off for our marriage license in the former produce aisle of a Winn Dixie-turned-courthouse in San Marcos and from there drove off the grid.
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Suppose that every prospective parent in the world stopped having children naturally, and instead produced clones of themselves. What would the world be like in another 20 or 30 years? The answer is: much like today. Cloning would only copy the genetic aspects of people who are already here.
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Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don't come into the world.
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The great thing about life - I'd rather not know and just hope I'm happy and healthy and I feel as good about my life as I do now.
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I did improv for about 10 years professionally, and before that, I had done it in high school as part of an improv team. It was definitely a big part of my upbringing.
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My father... removed from Kentucky to... Indiana, in my eighth year... It was a wild region, with many bears and other wild animals still in the woods. There I grew up... Of course when I came of age, I did not know much. Still somehow, I could read, write, and cipher... but that was all.
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I come from a very sporting family and played many sports as a lad.
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It's a feeling without a lid, of what you would do, physically, verbally, to protect the one thing that is your greatest love.
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Love begets love; and thus the love of Christ displayed upon the cross woos and wins the sinner and binds him repenting to the cross, believing and adoring the matchless depths of a Saviour's love.
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Every time I think about writing, comedy doesn't interest me in the slightest. I can play comedy, but I don't think in terms of comic dialogue.
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Unless we are able to commit to a permanent growing settlement [on Mars], then I don't think just going there with humans and coming back is worth doing. The expense of planning to come back is like the people who left Europe to come to America and then to turn around and go back to Europe, it really doesn't make any sense at all.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.