Demetri Martin Quotes
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

Quotes to Explore
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Nearly all government advice on terrorism sacrifices practical particulars for an unalarming tone. The usual guidance is to maintain a three-day supply of food and water along with a radio, flashlight, batteries and first-aid kit.
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It amazes me that talking about traditional values is controversial, but it seems to be.
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I like to act. Every other aspect of show business I find uninteresting.
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I've been to a few conventions, you know, when the tax man knocks at the door and the 'Star Wars' convention people say: 'Do you want to come and sign some autographs?'
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I was a scapegoat. The media had to put responsibility on somebody, and I was chosen. They felt free to say that because someone was thin they were anorexic, which is ridiculous.
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I had a great AP U.S. History teacher in Pittsburgh. We still exchange Christmas cards. She was the first teacher who said I was a good writer - and I'd never heard that before. And so I remember that, and I remember that level of loving the material and really loving writing about it.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Ticketmaster does not set prices. Live Nation does not set ticket prices. Artists set ticket prices.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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I feel great physically. I feel really good.
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There's a difference between being posh and being rich.
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The process of reclaiming the self is one of reconciliation with meaning.
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I graduated from the University of California, Los Angeles, with an English literature degree and travelled for a year before going to work.
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My husband and I were married in May 2007 on a sprawling rent-a-ranch in the Texas Hill Country. On the drive from Houston, we'd stopped off for our marriage license in the former produce aisle of a Winn Dixie-turned-courthouse in San Marcos and from there drove off the grid.
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Suppose that every prospective parent in the world stopped having children naturally, and instead produced clones of themselves. What would the world be like in another 20 or 30 years? The answer is: much like today. Cloning would only copy the genetic aspects of people who are already here.
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Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don't come into the world.
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The great thing about life - I'd rather not know and just hope I'm happy and healthy and I feel as good about my life as I do now.
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I did improv for about 10 years professionally, and before that, I had done it in high school as part of an improv team. It was definitely a big part of my upbringing.
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The goal for me is the Olympics. It's Sochi and doing my best there. And, you know, my best has the potential to be on the podium.
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I auditioned for a one-act version of 'The Princess and the Pea' called 'The Ugly Duckling,' and I was cast as the King, starting a pattern of being cast in roles originally intended for men. I went to the first rehearsal, and I didn't get any laughs, and I choked and I quit. I walked away from it and joined the tennis team.
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So much depends on the performance, and here you are also tied up in the emotion the game evokes.
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When I was growing up, I did go to the arcade. We had a neighborhood arcade, and my friends and I would go fairly regularly.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.