Don Rickles Quotes
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The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.
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I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative.
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I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.
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I shouldn't make fun of the blacks: President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.
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Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?'
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Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, 'How many more years do I have on this earth?' But I can't really conceive of dying.
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Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh.
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When you do comedy, you can't please the world, although I'd like to think that most of my audiences were on my side.
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I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.
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It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great.
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So, I'm on the satellite every Sunday, no matter where we are, with the Rams. Turn on the satellite; got to watch the Rams.
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Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is.
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If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.
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I was a mother's boy.
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Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?'
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An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.
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It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.
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Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.
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An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.
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I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.
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Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.
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My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances.
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My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head.
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Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.