Don Rickles Quotes
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I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II.
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I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
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You've got to be able to sell yourself.
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Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
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I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.
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I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore.
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Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
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You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter.
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I don't like to compare myself with anybody.
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I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
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I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.
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Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person.
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Nobody ever dared with Frank, because he had such mood swings, and you never knew how he was going to react. But I could tell the minute I saw him that he was going to be in my corner.
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My whole act is off the top of my head.
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One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business.
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We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.