Don Rickles Quotes
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To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
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When I'm onstage, I'm acting.
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You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
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Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
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You've got to be able to sell yourself.
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I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
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I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
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I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore.
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Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
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I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.
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I don't like to compare myself with anybody.
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Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person.
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You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter.
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Nobody ever dared with Frank, because he had such mood swings, and you never knew how he was going to react. But I could tell the minute I saw him that he was going to be in my corner.
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My whole act is off the top of my head.
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I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II.
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One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business.
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We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.