Don Rickles Quotes
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I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.
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I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.
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Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
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You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
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I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore.
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I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
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I don't like to compare myself with anybody.
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If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.
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I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II.
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I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.
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I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat.
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One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business.
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When I'm onstage, I'm acting.
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Nobody ever dared with Frank, because he had such mood swings, and you never knew how he was going to react. But I could tell the minute I saw him that he was going to be in my corner.
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My whole act is off the top of my head.
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We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.
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You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter.
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Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person.