Don Rickles Quotes
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I shouldn't make fun of the blacks: President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.
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Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was.
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The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.'
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Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!
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Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion.
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My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head.
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I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
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Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight.
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Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.
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Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
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Now when I'm not working, I don't really hang out with the young comics.
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The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.
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Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary.
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I've never had a written script.
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To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller.
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I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.
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Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.
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I never went out looking for glory.
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The girls, like, in we'll say Hooters, have less clothing than the girls I worked with in those days. We thought it was wild when they just wore little bells and so forth. But today, in restaurants, some of the waitresses almost work in the nude, you know, to get business.
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When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'
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My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.
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I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.
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Everything I've performed has been from my own head.
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An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.