Don Rickles Quotes
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I do situations and make fun of authority and life.
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The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.'
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You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.
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The inaugural of Ronald Reagan, with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. And that was the greatest thing. Ronald Reagan and George Bush. That was - I still remember like it was yesterday.
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Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?'
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I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
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My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.
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I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
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You've got to be able to sell yourself.
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When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
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Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.
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There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage.
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My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.
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I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.
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I told jokes badly.
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To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
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I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.'
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I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
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You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
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Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
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Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
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Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star.
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I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.
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I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.