Don Rickles Quotes
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I told jokes badly.
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I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.
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You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh.
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I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
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Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
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My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world.
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I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
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I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.
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I still have drive, but everything is relative.
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Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.
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Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.
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Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
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I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.'
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I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.
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I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat.
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I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
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Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star.
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I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.
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You've got to be able to sell yourself.
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You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.
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I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
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Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
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My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.
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I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.