Don Rickles Quotes
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My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.
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I didn't get married until I was 38.
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I told jokes badly.
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There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage.
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You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.
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You've got to be able to sell yourself.
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I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
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Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.
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Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.
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To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
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My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.
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When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
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I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
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I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
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I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.'
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I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.
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Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
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I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.
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You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
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I don't like to compare myself with anybody.
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I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
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Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star.
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Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion.
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Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.