Don Rickles Quotes
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I still have drive, but everything is relative.
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I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
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Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
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Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
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The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.'
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I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out.
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You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.
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Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star.
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I do situations and make fun of authority and life.
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Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
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Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?'
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I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.'
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My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.
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When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
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I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.
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I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
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You've got to be able to sell yourself.
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My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.
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To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
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I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.