Drew Carey Quotes
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There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.
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I didn't see it coming, ... But Comedy Central wanted to do it and will air all 13 shows that we did. That's why I'm going out on this tour. If the show wasn't picked up, I would probably be flying off to a sporting event or something in October. I wanted to take a couple of years off, but that will have to wait because of the show and the tour.
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I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.
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Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.
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Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
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Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.
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Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!
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My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.
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I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.
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I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites.
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International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.
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I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.
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I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
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Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.
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I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.
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I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
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I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.
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There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.
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Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.
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As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.
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I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.
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I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it.
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Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
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Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?