Drew Carey Quotes
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International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.
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The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.
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I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.
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My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.
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As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.
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I didn't see it coming, ... But Comedy Central wanted to do it and will air all 13 shows that we did. That's why I'm going out on this tour. If the show wasn't picked up, I would probably be flying off to a sporting event or something in October. I wanted to take a couple of years off, but that will have to wait because of the show and the tour.
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I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites.
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I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
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I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.
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I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.
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Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.
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Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.
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Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!
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I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.
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I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
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I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.
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My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.
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Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.
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Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.
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There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.
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I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.
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I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.
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Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
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Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.