Drew Carey Quotes
-
Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
-
I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.
-
I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up.
-
I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
-
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
-
As far as exercising goes... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.
-
Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!
-
I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.
-
The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.
-
I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.
-
Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.
-
I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.
-
My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.
-
The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours.
-
I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.
-
For 'Power of 10,' you can look at the methodology at CBS.com, it's a company called Rasmussen Reports. We poll thousands and thousands of people for each question, a real cross section of the United States.
-
I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.
-
I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!
-
At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know?
-
I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.
-
Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.
-
If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?
-
There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.
-
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.