Mallory Ortberg Quotes
Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences.
Quotes to Explore
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I grew up in an affluent suburban world and never worried about money until I'd grown up and found wonderfully original ways to screw up my life.
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I think every fight is different based on who is fighting.
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You have to be careful to react when you start to deviate from your course.
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I love to read. And right now I'm on my last hundred pages of 'The Corrections' by Jonathan Franzen, and I really enjoyed it. His writing is just - he's one of those writers where you just go, 'There are people just meant to be novel writers.'
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I've made a dozen films in the English language. But then, for love, for my family and friends, I returned to Europe... I annoyingly - looking back - turned down films like 007, 'For Your Eyes Only,' written specially for me.
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To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. The more politically active black students. The foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxist professors and structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets.
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Education for all seems to be the product of a type of distributive justice that is in no way related to the individual.
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'The more expensive the better' is kind of the American way, and if you spent $600 for a sweatshirt, then that makes it better.
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I write synopses after the book is completed. I can't write it beforehand, because I don't know what the book's about. I invent something for my publisher because he asks for one, but the final book ends up very differently.
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It is the original idea that is unique, not the object itself.
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'Trapped in the Closet' is pretty much forever. I've got a leash on this thing now. I'm going to walk it.
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Peace is not the product of a victory or a command. It has no finishing line, no final deadline, no fixed definition of achievement. Peace is a never-ending process, the work of many decisions.
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When I get into the studio, I write from my heart.
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Since 1987, when I got my first one, I've been wearing a clock around my neck 24/7. You feel me? 24/7.
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My grandfather allowed as how I might even live long enough to see a Mars landing. I haven't, of course, except in fiction, including my own, and strongly doubt that I ever will.
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Any girl who likes watching movies would like to work in them and would want to do all of that. I'm also one of them. But people know me for badminton and love me for it. So I'd stick to it right now. But maybe after badminton, I'll think about it.
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I believe women are the glue of everything.
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I don't want to live in a nanny state where people are telling me where I can go and what I can do.
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There are really only two ways to teach. You can inspire the student to voluntarily and enthusiastically choose to do the hard work necessary to get a great education, or you can attempt to require it of him.
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We are a mixed up people. We have mixed up ways of naming, too... When my father's brothers and sisters first went to colonial schools, they had to produce a surname. They also had to show they were good Christians by adopting a western name. They adopted my grandfather's name as surname. Wainaina.
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I have found strength where one does not look for it: in simple, mild, and pleasant people, without the least desire to rule -- and, conversely, the desire to rule has often appeared to me a sign of inward weakness: they fear their own slave soul and shroud it in a royal cloak (in the end, they still become the slaves of their followers, their fame, etc.)
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My record of opposition to illegal immigration is unquestioned.
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Teachers are by nature idealists, and they believe anything can be learned.
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Humor is always more interesting when it comes from someone who's had more than, like, five experiences.
