Mallory Ortberg Quotes
Did you know that, pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on Earth? It's true. Moose are very in tune with their natural surroundings.

Quotes to Explore
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I adored my mom. I thought she was the best. I loved her very much.
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Nothing truly convincing - which would possess thoroughness, vigor, and skill - has been written against the ancients as yet; especially not against their poetry.
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Second place is just the first place loser.
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I write better in Cape Breton... too many people around in Ontario. Down there I meet all sorts of non-human people, but they don't bother me, and I don't feel I have to apologize on behalf of my species quite so often.
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I'm not a leading man.
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I want to be able to make people laugh and cry and feel happy or sad and feel all these different emotions through singing and acting. Hopefully throughout my career, I'll get to pursue them.
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I'm not one to take revenge. If someone does something wrong to me I leave it in the hands of the universe to take care of that person.
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The mob spirit has grown with the increasing intelligence of the Afro-American.
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Life is not about dwelling on the bad.
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It must be a balance in everything we do, not too much of everything, keep it simple, not complicated.
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In the beginning, there was silence. And out of the silence came the sound. The sound is not here.
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I'm very independent, creatively, always trying to push myself - and I think that comes from my mother.
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I am opposed to the military use of animals. I am also opposed to the military use of men.
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I tried the broadcasting thing, the coaching thing, but I'll never replace the competitive feeling of being out on the field when we were players.
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I used to do school plays. I never really took any acting classes. I'm just a natural ham, I guess.
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I sat behind Thurman Thomas for my first couple of years, then my first year starting I won the Heisman. After I won the Heisman, that's when things changed as far as going to the NFL.
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Ideas? My head is full of them, one after the other, but they serve no purpose there. They must be put down on paper, one after the other.
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Now, you see, if you understand what I'm saying, with your intelligence, and then take the next step and say 'But I understood it now, but I didn't feel it.' Then, next I raise the question: Why do you want to feel it? You say: 'I want something more', because that's again that spiritual greed. And you could only say that because you didn't understand it.
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When I was a child, my mother always told me that you could wake up in the middle of the night and be deathly sick, so you always have to be impeccable. I laugh about it now, but I think everyone should go to bed like they have a date at the door.
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If I wanted to doubt then I could doubt endlessly. But at some point a person has to stop questioning and act, and at that point you have to trust something to be true. You have to act as if something is true, and so you choose the thing you have the most reason to believe in, you have to live in the world that you have the most hope in.
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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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I'm an NRA-certified Expert Rifleman.
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Did you know that, pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on Earth? It's true. Moose are very in tune with their natural surroundings.