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I'm totally clean and sober my whole life.
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I don't believe the majority always knows what's best for everyone.
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I didn't learn fire-eating to conquer my fears. I learned fire-eating because I desperately wanted to be in show business.
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Cars mean nothing to me. I'm not a car guy.
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Trey Parker did 'Book of Mormon.' It's the best Broadway show I've ever seen. He does 'South Park.' It's wonderful.
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I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy - you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do
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Whereas you have someone like Houdini, who works really, really hard to get really, really famous, and then has actual intellectual ideas that he puts into the culture that stay there.
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If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it.
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One thing you learn doing magic tricks for a living is how close every performance of every magic trick is to disaster. There are no robust magic tricks. They're all hanging from a thread - sometimes literally.
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I have nothing good to say about Donald Trump as president.
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The fact is that violence gives you a rush.
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Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.
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I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the rules.
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The highest ideals are human intelligence, creativity and love. Respect these above all.
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Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.
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The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth.
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I had e-mail in 1984! I had an e-mail address then, which means that all you could write to was Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. There were three of us, writing to each other.
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Charities are really good. To a certain extent, the ones you pick are arbitrary.
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'Moxie' is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah, and that's nice.
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I love the idea that horror and fear is a celebration of health and life.
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I hate that not everything ever written is on iBooks. Man, I hate paper.
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Penn & Teller don't know jack about global warming.
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My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every car. I was never a hippie. It takes more than long hair.
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You have in Vegas the most heterogeneous audience you're gonna get anywhere in the country. In Boston, Chicago, Miami, you know who goes to the theater. In Vegas, you have people who only see one theater show a year, and it's in Vegas.