Penn Jillette Quotes
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The Tea Party claims to want small government.
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Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.
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I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.
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I'm really happy with all the art that was inspired by religion, and I think I'd be tickled to little tiny pieces if art in the future was inspired by other things.
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The reason I'm an I.B.M.-type guy today is that I really needed a laptop back in 1986, and I just couldn't wait for the Powerbook.
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'Zolten' is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog.
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Everybody wants clean, safe energy. Some people think nuclear is the way to go. Some people think coal is the way to go. Some people think wind is the way to go. And there's always balances on that.
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I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.
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If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.
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I'm not misunderstood. I am brash. I make my living being brash.
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It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.'
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When I was 15, 16, 17 years old, I spent five hours a day juggling, and I probably spent six hours a day seriously listening to music. And if I were 16 now, I would put that time into playing video games.
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I am a huge fan of proselytizing. I am a huge fan of speaking your mind. The only way we can share the universe... is by talking very strongly about what we believe.
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The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt, hormone-raging bug nutty.
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If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.
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I've always wanted to make the world a more rational place. I'm still working on it.
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People still seem to think that they should vote themselves money. They seem to think there is stuff which they think is the government's job, when it's really the individual's job.
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For 50 million years our biggest problems were too few calories, too little information. For about 50 years our biggest problem has been too many calories, too much information. We have to adjust, and I believe we will really fast. I also believe it will be wicked ugly while we’re adjusting.
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Poker has the feeling of a sport, but you don't have to do push-ups.
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If you can just convince the dope people that the gun people are right and the gun people that the dope people are right, we could actually live in a lot more freedom.
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Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.
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If you don't pay your taxes and you don't answer the warrant and you don't go to court, eventually someone will pull a gun. Eventually someone with a gun will show up. I want everything the government does to be done, I just want it to be done voluntarily.
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Tommy Smothers is a hero of mine.
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I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage is any of the government's business.