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This is going to sound horrible, but I don't even know how much I make in a year. It must be, you know, a couple of million dollars, a few million. I know it's more money than my dad, a jail guard, made in his lifetime; more money than I'll ever need.
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If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.
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I'm a hardcore libertarian - I want everything legal - but I also believe that you have the right to free association.
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For 50 million years our biggest problems were too few calories, too little information. For about 50 years our biggest problem has been too many calories, too much information. We have to adjust, and I believe we will really fast. I also believe it will be wicked ugly while we’re adjusting.
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You can't allow people freedom and then change your mind when the things don't go your way.
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We can't start getting picky because we've got enough food; that's just self-centered and racist. Unless you and yours are starving, you need to shut the fuck up!
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If you don't pay your taxes and you don't answer the warrant and you don't go to court, eventually someone will pull a gun. Eventually someone with a gun will show up. I want everything the government does to be done, I just want it to be done voluntarily.
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Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.
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Rabbi Daniel Lapin: Here's a really blunt question: would the world be a better or a worse place if a billion Muslims became evangelical Christians tomorrow?
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The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt, hormone-raging bug nutty.
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If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.
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The Tea Party claims to want small government.
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Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.
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I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage is any of the government's business.
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I believe in individual rights so much that I don't like any sort of 'what's good for the cause'-type questions.
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I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.
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All David Blaine is is a good-looking magician.
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Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.
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We aren't people who believe that just because we're performers our opinions on everything need to be known.
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We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that.
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If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.'
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I have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.
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I'm really happy with all the art that was inspired by religion, and I think I'd be tickled to little tiny pieces if art in the future was inspired by other things.
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I'm a big fan of huge populations of people, so you'd think with 300 million people in the country, you don't even have to please 1% to be phenomenally successful.