Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
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It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
Garrett Hedlund
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
Sam Worthington
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
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If the word has the potency to revive and make us free, it has also the power to blind, imprison, and destroy.
Ralph Ellison
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
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She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
J. B. Priestley
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I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
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Faith... must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies.
Mahatma Gandhi
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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In every interview, when they would ask me who should be a judge, I would always say Harry Connick, Jr., so I think I had something to do with him becoming a judge! He has a blunt, dry sense of humor. You never know if he's joking or not, and I think that's going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
Candice Glover
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I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
Hannibal Buress
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My 'Dunkirk' co-star Harry Styles deals with some crazy fan stuff, but he's a very down-to-earth, lovely, funny guy.
Fionn Whitehead
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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
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I like to spend time with my family. The majority of my time is spent in London, but I do like to escape and spend time with them in my hometown of Brighton on the south coast.
Katie Price
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You have girls that sing about guys ain't paying their bills and men are this and men are that and I write about women who want to go out for free, they don't want to pay for the dinner, they try to get over, they wanna leave.
Keith Matthew Thornton
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Look at Fukushima. Should we or should we not agree with the U.S. government that none of that radioactive energy is making its way here? Hello!
Marianne Williamson
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It is good to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now – this day – this hour.
Charles Macomb Flandrau
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
