Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
Garrett Hedlund
A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
Sam Worthington
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
If the word has the potency to revive and make us free, it has also the power to blind, imprison, and destroy.
Ralph Ellison
Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
J. B. Priestley
I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Faith... must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies.
Mahatma Gandhi
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
In every interview, when they would ask me who should be a judge, I would always say Harry Connick, Jr., so I think I had something to do with him becoming a judge! He has a blunt, dry sense of humor. You never know if he's joking or not, and I think that's going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
Candice Glover
I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
Hannibal Buress
My 'Dunkirk' co-star Harry Styles deals with some crazy fan stuff, but he's a very down-to-earth, lovely, funny guy.
Fionn Whitehead
