Jim Gaffigan Quotes

There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.

Jim Gaffigan

Quotes to Explore

This is what we get paid to do, is to bring it every week, and I hope the guys would say I bring it every week. I mean, I love this game, and I bring energy.

Aaron Rodgers
- Love
- Hope
- Game
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

H. L. Mencken
- American
- Funny
- Nobody
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

Wanda Sykes
- Funny
- Win
- Talent
It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'

Garrett Hedlund
- Long
- Women
- Kids
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

Garrison Keillor
- Death
- Funny
- Humor
In my flat in Chicago, I've got this big room with an office in the corner and a balcony so I can watch people go by.

Irvine Welsh
- People
- Chicago
- Office