Jim Gaffigan Quotes
There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
This is what we get paid to do, is to bring it every week, and I hope the guys would say I bring it every week. I mean, I love this game, and I bring energy.
Aaron Rodgers
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H. L. Mencken
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
Wanda Sykes
It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
Garrett Hedlund
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
In my flat in Chicago, I've got this big room with an office in the corner and a balcony so I can watch people go by.
Irvine Welsh
The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
Vera Wang
The funny thing about children is that, whichever room we're in, that's where they'll be. If I'm in the bath, they'll want to be in there too, playing with the toothbrush pot or brushing my hair.
Keeley Hawes
Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.
Artie Lange
I have a theory that self-made, first-generation actresses don't feel entitled to success.
Natasha Lyonne
Bullfights are a very cultural thing. I know many people think it's cruel, but so many things are cruel. Hunting, the electric chair, wars. These are all cruel things as well.
Fernando Botero
There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
Jim Gaffigan
