Garrison Keillor Quotes

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

Garrison Keillor

• Death
• Funny
• Humor

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Quotes to Explore

• Death is the sanction of everything the story-teller can tell. He has borrowed his authority from death.

  

  Walter Benjamin
  • Death
  • Everything
  • Authority

• If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

  

  Mahatma Gandhi
  • Long
  • Humor
  • Suicide

• After I was assaulted in Egypt, I learned fear. I've just never been so scared in my life. I've never been so close to death.

  

  Lara Logan
  • Life
  • Death
  • Fear

• People have their own deaths as well as their own lives, and even if there is nothing beyond death, we shall differ in our nothingness.

  

  E. M. Forster
  • People
  • Death
  • Own

• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • American
  • Funny
  • Nobody

• From the sons of Ith, the first of the Gael to get his death in Ireland, there came in the after time Fathadh Canaan, that got the sway over the whole world from the rising to the setting sun, and that took hostages of the streams and the birds and the languages.

  

  Lady Gregory
  • Time
  • World
  • Death

• A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.

  

  Sam Worthington
  • Time
  • Work
  • Funny

• Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Funny
  • See
  • Others

• Islam is a religion of success. Unlike Christianity, which has as its main image, in the west at least, a man dying in a devastating, disgraceful, helpless death.

  

  Karen Armstrong
  • Death
  • Success
  • Man

• We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.

  

  Larry the Cable Guy
  • Guy
  • Funny
  • Christmas

• I'm not afraid of death, but I resent it. I think it's unfair and irritating.

  

  Viggo Mortensen
  • Think
  • Death
  • Afraid

• There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.

  

  J. Michael Straczynski
  • Writing
  • Funny
  • Sad

• Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.

  

  Hannah Simone
  • Funny
  • Weird
  • Awkward

• I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Why
  • Girl
  • Funny

• When it comes to jump-starting the intricate machinery of recollection, there's nothing more effective than the scent of approaching death.

  

  Gary Krist
  • Death
  • Nothing
  • More

• I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

  

  Eddie Izzard
  • Up
  • History
  • Funny

• There's stuff I don't like to rehearse, really emotional things, I don't like to rehearse. You just beat it to death.

  

  Kat Dennings
  • Death
  • You
  • Emotional

• Daddy was hilarious. He could take the most mundane event and tell it so that we all on the floor laughing. He trained me in the joys of humor.

  

  Karen DeCrow
  • Humor
  • Hilarious
  • Event

• Maybe baby I'll have you,Maybe baby you'll be true.Maybe baby I'll have you for me. (All for me)It's funny honey you don't care-a-are,You never listen to my prayer-a-yer,Maybe baby you will love me someday (someday).

  

  Buddy Holly
  • True
  • Funny
  • Prayer

• For the first time I was flying by jet propulsion. No engine vibrations. No torque and no lashing sound of the propeller. Accompanied by a whistling sound, my jet shot through the air. Later when asked what it felt like, I said, "It felt as though angels were pushing".

  

  Adolf Galland
  • Time
  • Air
  • Flying

• It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking our careers will come to a standstill, or worse, crash and burn if we aren't social media butterflies.

  

  M. J. Rose
  • Thinking
  • Fall
  • Easy

• Every passion borders on the chaotic, but the collector's passion borders on the chaos of memories.

  

  Walter Benjamin
  • Passion
  • Memories
  • Chaos

• If you're an older sibling and you have a younger sibling who needs mentoring or is afraid of the dark, you develop nurturing and empathic skills that you wouldn't otherwise have.

  

  Jeffrey Kluger
  • Dark
  • Sibling

• Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

  

  Garrison Keillor
  • Death
  • Funny
  • Humor