Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.

Jim Gaffigan

• Thinking
• Kids
• Wife
• Laughing
• Stranger

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm guilty of it myself, sort of thinking, 'Classic novels: snoozeville.' But there is a huge amount of wonderful material.

  

  Natasha Little
  • Thinking
  • Myself
  • Guilty

• Sometimes the kids come up with better endings than the real story.

  

  Gail Carson Levine
  • Up
  • Real
  • Kids

• People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • People
  • Thinking
  • Today

• I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices.

  

  Madonna Breakfast Club
  • Life
  • Thinking
  • Choices

• I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.

  

  W. Bruce Cameron
  • Strong
  • Wife
  • Independent

• I love working with kids, talking with them and listening to them. I always encourage kids to reach beyond their dreams. Don't try to be like me. Be better than me.

  

  Florence Griffith Joyner
  • Kids
  • Like
  • Better

• I love doing kids' films.

  

  Ioan Gruffudd
  • Kids
  • Doing
  • Films

• When you're first reading the script and thinking about playing the part, it's slightly daunting. It's easy to question, 'Is an audience going to like me? And is that my job?'

  

  Laura Dern
  • Thinking
  • Job
  • Reading

• Bringing GIS into schools gets the kids very excited and indirectly teaches them different components of STEM education. That's been illustrated at school after school.

  

  Jack Dangermond
  • Different
  • School
  • Kids

• I think that a lot of kids today focus on impressing each other. And while that's really nice, you also have to think about your future, about getting into a good school.

  

  Kara Hayward
  • Good
  • School
  • Kids

• More than 200,000 kids have had their lives transformed by ARK. I use that word properly.

  

  Ian Wace
  • Kids
  • More
  • Word

• The nice thing about writing at home is that it's almost as though I'm doing it already. I get out of bed thinking of my work, and I don't have to go anywhere to do it.

  

  Patrick deWitt
  • Work
  • Thinking
  • Writing

• For me, having come to study and understand some of the Bible and finally getting saved made a huge difference in me, because my wife was a big influence on that. I saw in her, when I first met her, a person's soul at peace with everything and everybody around her.

  

  Randy Travis
  • Soul
  • Peace
  • Wife

• My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

  

  Zach Galifianakis
  • People
  • Dad
  • Understand

• Google owns YouTube, and recently, I drew a comic about an idea for a YouTube feature - which they actually took seriously and implemented. So I'm thinking that maybe we'll have a future where Google is 'xkcd.'

  

  Randall Munroe
  • Thinking
  • Future
  • Google

• We look at science as something very elite, which only a few people can learn. That's just not true. You just have to start early and give kids a foundation. Kids live up, or down, to expectations.

  

  Mae Jemison
  • People
  • Up
  • Live

• I learned that there are two things that kids really like: movement and love. Happy kids move; unhappy, they don't move.

  

  Magnus Scheving
  • Love
  • Kids
  • Happy

• Steampunk is not a group of children in a classroom, sitting quietly while the teacher reads a story; it's the kids at recess, playing a wild, endless game of pretend.

  

  Kaja Foglio
  • Children
  • Kids
  • Game

• And don't forget, a prisoner's wife must always think good thoughts.

  

  Nazim Hikmet
  • Good
  • Wife
  • Thoughts

• We always think of misdirection as, 'Look over here while I do this over here!' And that's not what it is. You can be looking straight at it, and if you're not thinking about it, you won't process it. I find that fascinating.

  

  Apollo Robbins
  • Thinking

• You can't say one thing and behave another way. Kids learn more from watching you in life than what you say to them.

  

  Andy Garcia
  • Life
  • Kids

• Where's Barack Obama when Christmas references are being erased from civic calendars? Is he crying out in defense of religious liberty and our First Amendment? Nope. He's as silent as a church mouse. And animosity toward religion continues to grow.

  

  Chuck Norris
  • Church
  • Religious
  • Christmas

• I fully agree with General Washington, that we must protect this young nation from an insidious influence and impenetration. The menace, gentlemen, is the Jews.

  

  Patrick Henry

• I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Thinking
  • Kids
  • Wife