Jim Gaffigan Quotes
		
	 
	
		
	
	
	
		I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Jim Gaffigan 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	 
	
	
	
	Quotes to Explore 
		
	
	
	
	
	
		I'm guilty of it myself, sort of thinking, 'Classic novels: snoozeville.' But there is a huge amount of wonderful material. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Natasha Little 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		Sometimes the kids come up with better endings than the real story. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Gail Carson Levine 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				P. J. O'Rourke 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Madonna 
			 
			
				Breakfast Club  
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				W. Bruce Cameron 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		I love working with kids, talking with them and listening to them. I always encourage kids to reach beyond their dreams. Don't try to be like me. Be better than me. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Florence Griffith Joyner 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	 
		
		
	
	
	
	
		For me, having come to study and understand some of the Bible and finally getting saved made a huge difference in me, because my wife was a big influence on that. I saw in her, when I first met her, a person's soul at peace with everything and everybody around her. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Randy Travis 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Zach Galifianakis 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		Google owns YouTube, and recently, I drew a comic about an idea for a YouTube feature - which they actually took seriously and implemented. So I'm thinking that maybe we'll have a future where Google is 'xkcd.' 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Randall Munroe 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		We look at science as something very elite, which only a few people can learn. That's just not true. You just have to start early and give kids a foundation. Kids live up, or down, to expectations. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Mae Jemison 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		I learned that there are two things that kids really like: movement and love. Happy kids move; unhappy, they don't move. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Magnus Scheving 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		Steampunk is not a group of children in a classroom, sitting quietly while the teacher reads a story; it's the kids at recess, playing a wild, endless game of pretend. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Kaja Foglio 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	 
		
	
	
	
	
		Passion is what you would do if you got to choose. It's what you think about doing in the privacy of your own mind, without ear of dismissal or mockery. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Urijah Christopher Faber 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		My best chosen friend, companion, guide, to walk through life, Linked hand-in-hand, two equal, loving friends, true husband and true wife. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Charles Gavan Duffy 
			 
		 
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		My dad is an egomaniac. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Sia 
			 
			
				LSD  
	
	
  
	 
	
	
	
	
		No matter what, I can't sound like John Lennon. But I can do Tom Jones. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Chris Cornell 
			 
			
				Soundgarden  
	
	
	 
	
	
	
	
		Rome was not built in one day. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				John Heywood 
			 
		 
	
	
	 
	
	
	
	
		I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner. 
	
	 
	
		
			
				
					
						 
				
				Jim Gaffigan