Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
I'm guilty of it myself, sort of thinking, 'Classic novels: snoozeville.' But there is a huge amount of wonderful material.
Natasha Little
Sometimes the kids come up with better endings than the real story.
Gail Carson Levine
People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'
P. J. O'Rourke
I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices.
Madonna
Breakfast Club
It's double talk and double standards. It's like, be honest, but don't be too honest. Look fresh-faced and young, but don't tell us how you got there. God forbid you have plastic surgery, even though we're telling you, 'Oh, you look old.' Be a career woman, but also, why aren't you having kids? Are you some kind of cold shrew?
Rachel Bloom
I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.
W. Bruce Cameron
The nice thing about writing at home is that it's almost as though I'm doing it already. I get out of bed thinking of my work, and I don't have to go anywhere to do it.
Patrick deWitt
For me, having come to study and understand some of the Bible and finally getting saved made a huge difference in me, because my wife was a big influence on that. I saw in her, when I first met her, a person's soul at peace with everything and everybody around her.
Randy Travis
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
Google owns YouTube, and recently, I drew a comic about an idea for a YouTube feature - which they actually took seriously and implemented. So I'm thinking that maybe we'll have a future where Google is 'xkcd.'
Randall Munroe
We look at science as something very elite, which only a few people can learn. That's just not true. You just have to start early and give kids a foundation. Kids live up, or down, to expectations.
Mae Jemison
I learned that there are two things that kids really like: movement and love. Happy kids move; unhappy, they don't move.
Magnus Scheving
Steampunk is not a group of children in a classroom, sitting quietly while the teacher reads a story; it's the kids at recess, playing a wild, endless game of pretend.
Kaja Foglio
When you're young, you say it how it is, and even your views are, like, 'This is totally the truth', 'cos you don't know any difference, so there's a real confidence in your way of thinking.
Agyness Deyn
A lot of people have a hard time living out of a suitcase, being on the road constantly in different cities. For us it's just kind of what we do. You do get homesick. I miss my wife, I miss my home, I miss my dogs, I miss my kitchen, which is something I like to do outside of this is cook. You miss the simple things. But when you look at the big picture we get to see a crazy amount of cities and the people we get to meet, all over the world it kind of makes up for it. It makes you realize how lucky you are because it could be gone tomorrow you just never know.
Barry Kerch
My children not only inspired me to reconsider what kind of eating animal I would be, but also shamed me into reconsideration.
Jonathan Safran Foer
My book on leather-plaiting, first prepared more than fifty years ago, has been circulating in increasing numbers and many enthusiasts have come to me personally to have the knots demonstrated when they have found it difficult to learn from diagrams. I feel guilty that very little of the knowledge accumulated through a lifetime is in print, especially some of the more intricate knots which I find hard to illustrate.
R. M. Williams
I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Jim Gaffigan
