Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Quotes to Explore
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I'm guilty of it myself, sort of thinking, 'Classic novels: snoozeville.' But there is a huge amount of wonderful material.
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Sometimes the kids come up with better endings than the real story.
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People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'
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I never really wanted kids. I didn't not want them, but motherhood just wasn't something that pulled at me.
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I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices.
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It's double talk and double standards. It's like, be honest, but don't be too honest. Look fresh-faced and young, but don't tell us how you got there. God forbid you have plastic surgery, even though we're telling you, 'Oh, you look old.' Be a career woman, but also, why aren't you having kids? Are you some kind of cold shrew?
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I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.
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I love working with kids, talking with them and listening to them. I always encourage kids to reach beyond their dreams. Don't try to be like me. Be better than me.
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I love doing kids' films.
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When you're first reading the script and thinking about playing the part, it's slightly daunting. It's easy to question, 'Is an audience going to like me? And is that my job?'
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Bringing GIS into schools gets the kids very excited and indirectly teaches them different components of STEM education. That's been illustrated at school after school.
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I think that a lot of kids today focus on impressing each other. And while that's really nice, you also have to think about your future, about getting into a good school.
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More than 200,000 kids have had their lives transformed by ARK. I use that word properly.
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The nice thing about writing at home is that it's almost as though I'm doing it already. I get out of bed thinking of my work, and I don't have to go anywhere to do it.
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For me, having come to study and understand some of the Bible and finally getting saved made a huge difference in me, because my wife was a big influence on that. I saw in her, when I first met her, a person's soul at peace with everything and everybody around her.
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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
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Google owns YouTube, and recently, I drew a comic about an idea for a YouTube feature - which they actually took seriously and implemented. So I'm thinking that maybe we'll have a future where Google is 'xkcd.'
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We look at science as something very elite, which only a few people can learn. That's just not true. You just have to start early and give kids a foundation. Kids live up, or down, to expectations.
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I learned that there are two things that kids really like: movement and love. Happy kids move; unhappy, they don't move.
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Al Qaeda is not the organization now that it was before. It is under stress organizationally. Its leadership spends more time trying to figure out how to keep from getting caught than they do trying to launch operations.
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I was active on Facebook for a while, responding to comments and thanking fans for their appreciation. But I found that the Facebook feed was numbing my emotions. I'd see an extraordinarily tragic news item, and even before I could react to it, see a hilarious meme right below it. This was confusing me.
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We must use time creatively.
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A big part of the accelerator is to help scientists become entrepreneurs. I like to think about each business being built on three major areas: creating the value, creating the product, and extracting the value. We provide help in each of these areas.
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I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
