Jim Gaffigan Quotes
You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
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God's not thinking about your mistakes, failures or shortcomings. No, His thoughts toward you are good.
Victoria Osteen
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I remember, when I was at school, we would have a 10-minute storytelling session where we'd all sit on the floor cross-legged, and the teacher would read. It became something we all really looked forward to. That was part of the reason I grew to love stories.
Malorie Blackman
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I get 0.5 seconds to react to a ball, sometimes even less than that. I can't be thinking of what XYZ has said about me. I need to surrender myself to my natural instincts. My subconscious mind knows exactly what to do. It is trained to react. At home, my family doesn't discuss media coverage.
Sachin Tendulkar
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I was attending the University of Alberta. I was going to be a high school teacher, like my parents. I failed - no, I didn't fail a class, I just barely passed. I really didn't try. It was Canadian history, through the plays of the time. My God, those were boring plays.
Nathan Fillion
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People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'
P. J. O'Rourke
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My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.
Wanda Sykes
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The less lines, the better. I am the silent film actor, but not in a slapstick sort of way. Film is an image-based medium, so whatever you can say without the words is far more provocative and punctuating. If the lines are not funny or if they don't advance the story, sometimes it's hard. I hate talk in movies.
Callum Keith Rennie
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I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a lot of friends on the cross country team that had great senses of humor.
Dana Carvey
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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It took me way beyond what I knew, into places of which I was totally scared, but as I became less frightened, I welcomed new ways of thinking and approaching something. It made me an infinitely richer person, and I think a better musician.
Yo-Yo Ma
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Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.
Ice Cube
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I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
Maggie Smith
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Once you're a chess player, you spend a lot of time thinking about the game and you can't get it completely out of your head.
Magnus Carlsen
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I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
Kaley Cuoco
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I believe that Orthodoxy has been thinking lately, and despite other impressions, that we can't have full sacramental communion if we don't first have a fundamental agreement on the question of the primacy, that still isn't there.
Karl Lehmann
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Most of the time, I don't really give people a chance. I have a wall up. I'm always protecting who I am. Thinking about my brand. I make it hard on people. Sometimes, it's a good thing. Sometimes, it's a bad thing.
Cam Newton
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Familiar life, tending to sordidness, had been succeeded by remote life, generally idealized; historical detail had been brought in to teach readers who were being entertained.
Carl Clinton Van Doren
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Both my grandmothers had upright pianos, and I just knew how to play since I was a child. Nobody taught me. I sounded like a grown-up, and then I learned how to read music. I played so well by ear I could fool the teacher to believe I could play the notes. She'd make the mistake of playing the song once, and I could play it.
Valerie Simpson
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For one cause or another, it has become necessary to impose restrictions upon the use of many commodities, including not a few of the necessities of life.
Mackenzie King
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When people contact me on Instagram or Facebook, kids and adults, who say, "You're an inspiration. You make me want to work hard to achieve my goals." If I can still do that after I retire that makes me feel good.
Usain Bolt
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I'm from the South, so while I personally find it impossible to live there, I still have a fondness for it as a geographical region.
Alan Ball
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As a young black boy, it made me proud to see black leaders that did something amazing and made the world change.
John Roger Stephens
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Books that change you, even later in life, give you a kind of electrical shock as the world takes a different shape.
A. S. Byatt
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
Jim Gaffigan
