Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Now the Thanksgiving meal is just so unnecessarily difficult. I mean even mashed potatoes - it's like the most difficult kind of, you know, medieval idea. All right, instead of just cooking them, why don't you spend, like, eight hours peeling them and then we'll have to mash them up. It feels like prison labor, really.

Jim Gaffigan

• Kind
• Mean
• Cooking
• Hours
• Prison
• Medieval

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Quotes to Explore

• Indians today are governed by two different ideologies. Their political ideal set in the preamble of the Constitution affirms a life of liberty, equality and fraternity. Their social ideal embodied in their religion denies them.

  

  Babasaheb
  • Life
  • Different
  • Today

• Rock music is not meant to be perfect.

  

  Ozzy Osbourne Black Sabbath
  • Music
  • Perfect
  • Rock

• What we really need is compassion of the mind - compassion for others that is directed intelligently and produces truly compassionate results.

  

  Harry Browne
  • Mind
  • Compassion
  • Results

• Yes, sir, a patrol car came and took me down to a station where they were trying to develop films, but they hadn't got the facilities to develop colored film.

  

  Abraham Zapruder
  • Trying
  • Me
  • Car

• Our most intimate friend is not he to whom we show the worst, but the best of our nature.

  

  Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • Nature
  • Friend
  • Best

• I've got my ideal job. I like to sing, I like to dance, I like to bang drums and dress up, and someone pays me - it's incredible.

  

  Florence Welch Florence and the Machine
  • Up
  • Job
  • Dance

• My favorite movie is 'Iron Man.' I tell people that I think it's just as good as 'Dark Knight,' if not better, and people tell me I'm crazy. I really like 'Iron Man.'

  

  Taylor Lautner
  • People
  • Good
  • Movie

• We are not going to turn our backs on people who have been persecuted, turn our backs on people who have been threatened by terror.

  

  Gavin Newsom
  • People
  • Going
  • Turn

• Modesty means admitting the possibility of error, subsuming the self for the good of the whole, remaining open to surprise and the gifts that only failure can bring. There are many ways to practice it. Try taking up golf. Or making your own bagels. Or raising a teenager.

  

  Nancy Gibbs
  • Up
  • Good
  • Practice

• I'm not an ultra-libertarian who thinks there shouldn't be insider-trading laws at all.

  

  Gary Weiss
  • Laws
  • Thinks
  • Who

• Clothes, thank God I can get them from designers.

  

  Patricia Velasquez
  • God
  • Clothes
  • Thank God

• It should simply be an empirical matter whether the climate is changing or not and whether we're responsible. But the various sides of the debate have now become so tribal that it's no longer a matter of changing our views as more information comes in.

  

  Ian Mcewan
  • Matter
  • Information
  • Debate

• Laughter is healing and helpful and fun, and I see my role as an entertainer, and I want readers to leave my books smiling.

  

  Gail Carriger
  • Fun
  • Laughter
  • Healing

• I'm still dreaming to be the next Missy Elliott.

  

  Kat Graham
  • Next
  • Still
  • Dreaming

• When men or women make their work their top priority and become hostile to the normal, natural needs of their children and spouse - obviously, something is wrong.

  

  Laura Schlessinger
  • Work
  • Men
  • Women

• I'm a big collector of vinyl - I have a record room in my house - and I've always had a huge soundtrack album collection. So what I do, as I'm writing a movie, is go through all those songs, trying to find good songs for fights, or good pieces of music to layer into the film.

  

  Quentin Tarantino
  • Good
  • Music
  • Writing

• I no longer limit myself.

  

  Karlheinz Stockhausen
  • Myself
  • Limit
  • Longer

• Our quarterbacks were getting hurt; a couple got kicked out of school. The coach asked who wanted to try out for QB. I went and tried out, and from there on, I was a quarterback. I was ineligible in 10th grade until spring, so I did baseball. I started in left field and pitched.

  

  Quavo Migos
  • School
  • Couple
  • Hurt

• Wherever Harry went inside the tiny cottage or its garden, he could hear the constant ebb and flow of the sea, like the breathing of some great, slumbering creature.

  

  Joanne Rowling
  • Great
  • Sea
  • Garden

• Just because everyone CAN publish a book these days, doesn't mean everyone SHOULD. The world doesn't need 1000 knock-offs of 50 Shades of Grey. I'm not so sure the world even needed ONE 50 Shades of Grey.

  

  Oliver Gaspirtz
  • World
  • Book
  • Mean

• It would be the greatest mistake, certainly, to think that concessions mean peace. Nothing of the kind. Concessions are nothing but a new form of war.

  

  Vladimir Lenin
  • Thinking
  • War
  • Mean

• Lucky is the man who has been successful with his children and not got ones who are notorious disasters.

  

  Euripides
  • Children
  • Lucky
  • Disasters

• Now the Thanksgiving meal is just so unnecessarily difficult. I mean even mashed potatoes - it's like the most difficult kind of, you know, medieval idea. All right, instead of just cooking them, why don't you spend, like, eight hours peeling them and then we'll have to mash them up. It feels like prison labor, really.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Kind
  • Mean
  • Cooking