Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.
Quotes to Explore
-
We are skinny; this is our work. There are lots of overweight people working in offices, but I'm not going to say, 'This girl is fat; she can't work in an office.'
-
When I was 11, I realised that I did not have to live the life my mother had: school, marriage, children, apartment, summer house.
-
Some things are so tragic that you don't know what's funny in it, and some things are so ridiculous you don't know if it's worth talking about it.
-
I'm more like an animalistic rock chick.
-
You need a routine, to be able to spend some time with a person, and my lifestyle is constantly on the move.
-
I like simple things. Elastic waists, so I can eat.
-
I just fell into the job as a fashion editor at a teen magazine. I was there for two years, and I left there as a senior fashion editor at the age of 25.
-
I've never paid too much attention to what other people have said or to what other people have tried to make me be. I've always just tried to be myself, which is such a weird thing to say.
-
Cobnuts have a fresher flavour than any other nut I know of and go very well with autumnal fruit and light cheeses.
-
The musket could not be aimed except in a general direction; a bow in the hands of a skilled archer could regularly hit and kill an enemy completely beyond musket range.
-
In 15 years we'll have all the sequence, a list of the genes everyone has in common and those that differ among people. We know only something like a tenth of 1 percent of the sequence at the moment.
-
I've never been the type of person to jump up and throw out the album without it being what it's supposed to be.
-
I normally don't endorse in Democratic primaries.
-
I would love to continue working on animated films. Yeah, those are my ambitions. No doubt.
-
Do not quit! Hundreds of times I have watched people throw in the towel at the one-yard line while someone else comes along and makes a fortune by just going that extra yard.
-
The difference between the denominational system and the public school system is all the difference between bolstering them up on the one hand and letting them alone of the other.
-
Creative people are more prone to depression.
-
I told my kids when they were little, 'Look, kids, your mother and I are screwing you up somehow. We don't understand how, or we wouldn't do it. But we're parents. So somehow we're damaging you, and I want you to know that early. So just ignore me when I go to that part of my parenting.'
-
I give myself pep talks. I have to tell myself how sexy I am - literally every day. I do. I look in the mirror and say, 'You are so sexy,' because everything else in my body is telling me, 'No, you're not.'
-
When you create an economy where you subsidize corporate profits through a welfare program and food stamps in order to keep wages low in some perverse pursuit of 'competiveness,' than you reap the fruits of the anger that you sow.
-
I'm not going to make any excuses. I just went out and stunk it up tonight.
-
I always knew I'd get caught sooner or later. And I knew I would end up going to prison.
-
But inside, I'm going, 'Oh my God, is my zipper up? Do I have a booger in my nose?' That's my inner monologue.
-
I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.
