Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
Quotes to Explore
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A lot of the time I'm working with people who are older than me.
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Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
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Teaching children about entrepreneurship is much like imparting any other skill or piece of knowledge. You will provide them with ways to experience how entrepreneurship works, and you guide them toward the subjects or areas they seem to show an interest in.
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Our house is a constant mayhem of music, noise, socializing and business. It vibrates life, as a house should.
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The really clever people now want to be lawyers or journalists.
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When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.
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Mr. President, it may surprise my colleagues, but I am no fan of federal disaster programs for agriculture. They are difficult to pass and often a disaster to implement.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade, which means no drugs, no alcohol, no fast food - unless, of course, it's a mallard.
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One of my favorite things about doing movies is that you get to do different things you'd never do in real life.
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The Marine Corps is supposed to be the toughest and most rigorous of its class.
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How long should a man's legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.
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Berlin has traditionally backed a rules-based eurozone in which every member state is responsible for its own finances, including bank bailouts, with political union limited to a fiscal overlord's possessing veto power over national budgets that violate the rules.
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I am not a puppet. I was not made by the West to go to the West or to any other country.
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There is no question that Iraq is one of the main problems. You'd have to be blind not to see what a magnet and generating force it's become for terrorist groups.
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My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
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I do seem to have a lot of family secrets in my novels. I guess I'm one of those writers who is often writing about the same sort of themes, but taking different angles on them.
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That's why I had to leave Hair on Broadway, because I did it for about a year, and one night I was doing the show, and I realized, well, this is not real. I told the director. He says, man, it was a killer show tonight.
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I don't really like to sit around the house listening to my own records. They're not that good.
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Social Security is not broke, and Social Security does not need to be privatized.
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I've always been pretty indifferent towards the royal family. I went on a school trip once to Buckingham Palace, and all I can remember is that it was really boring.
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Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
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Every child in America fantasizes about running wild in the White House for a few minutes.
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Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
