Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
Quotes to Explore
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A lot of the time I'm working with people who are older than me.
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Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
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Teaching children about entrepreneurship is much like imparting any other skill or piece of knowledge. You will provide them with ways to experience how entrepreneurship works, and you guide them toward the subjects or areas they seem to show an interest in.
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The really clever people now want to be lawyers or journalists.
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When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.
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Mr. President, it may surprise my colleagues, but I am no fan of federal disaster programs for agriculture. They are difficult to pass and often a disaster to implement.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade, which means no drugs, no alcohol, no fast food - unless, of course, it's a mallard.
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How long should a man's legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.
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Berlin has traditionally backed a rules-based eurozone in which every member state is responsible for its own finances, including bank bailouts, with political union limited to a fiscal overlord's possessing veto power over national budgets that violate the rules.
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I am not a puppet. I was not made by the West to go to the West or to any other country.
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There is no question that Iraq is one of the main problems. You'd have to be blind not to see what a magnet and generating force it's become for terrorist groups.
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My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
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That's why I had to leave Hair on Broadway, because I did it for about a year, and one night I was doing the show, and I realized, well, this is not real. I told the director. He says, man, it was a killer show tonight.
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Language usage always has a political context.
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We never have business meals at El Bulli. If it's about business, you're probably not paying much attention to the food.
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I do not like the idea that a Russian company cannot be successful without Western experience. I think that, at the end of the day, it is a question of bringing benchmarks from other countries. So far, the golden benchmark has been the West.
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The Pledge of Allegiance reflects the truth that faith in God has played a significant role in America since the days of the founding of our country.
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As a journeyman singer, I have to go to where the work is.
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A queen, devoid of beauty is not queen; She needs the royalty of beauty's mien.
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And you throw your head back laughingLike a little kid.I think it's strange that you think I’m funny causeHe never did.I've been spending the last 8 monthsThinking all love ever doesIs break and burn and end.But on a Wednesday in a cafe,I watched it begin again.
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A college of wit-crackers cannot flout me out of my humor. Dost thou think I care for a satire or an epigram?
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Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
