Jim Gaffigan Quotes

When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.

Jim Gaffigan

• Funny
• Comedy
• Fighting
• Pillow

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Quotes to Explore

• Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Time
  • Age
  • Cheer

• I tweeted once, and I still stick to this, that I would love to marry a Croatian girl. I want my children to speak Croatian first, and for them to do that, we need someone who speaks very good Croatian.

  

  Nathaniel Buzolic
  • Children
  • Want
  • Girl

• In the experience of art, time seems not to exist.

  

  Salman Rushdie
  • Time
  • Art
  • Experience

• Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.

  

  Warren Bennis
  • Truth
  • Know
  • Someone

• The thing is that war is the opposite of negotiation. It's when you cannot negotiate, when you cannot talk, when you cannot reach agreements that then you have war.

  

  Ingrid Betancourt
  • War
  • Talk
  • Negotiation

• My advice would be to follow your dream. Most of my life, I was in second place before I came in first place. I hope that inspired people to never give up.

  

  Jackie Evancho
  • People
  • Life
  • Up

• I do read some of the scripts from America and, even though the themes or subject of the film is very interesting, and some of the scenes are very interesting, there is a tendency that they have to explain everything. There will be no dilemma.

  

  Mads Mikkelsen
  • America
  • Interesting
  • Film

• If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect.

  

  Ted Turner
  • Perfect
  • Humility
  • Only

• Conor McGregor is a tough competitor. He proved throughout the years in the UFC that he can fight standing up.

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Up
  • Years
  • Fight

• By the time I left school, I had a lot of tenacity.

  

  Halle Berry
  • Time
  • School
  • Left

• I like to have something to base a role on.

  

  Sam Heughan
  • Like
  • Something
  • Role

• Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade, which means no drugs, no alcohol, no fast food - unless, of course, it's a mallard.

  

  Ted Nugent
  • Life
  • Food
  • Quality

• I feel like I just have such the blood and bones of a New Yorker that I can almost imagine better, like, giving up the fight and not being able to afford the city and going out West, keeping a small place here, and then when I'm like 80, coming back here, living on the park and going to the theater.

  

  Natasha Lyonne
  • Up
  • Giving
  • Small

• I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.

  

  Florence Green
  • People
  • Time
  • Good

• Kids are naturally gifted at art from a very young age. The problem is when they get older and become self-conscious. The process should always be fun, though.

  

  Damien Hirst
  • Art
  • Kids
  • Fun

• My whole working philosophy is that the only stable happiness for mankind is that it shall live married in blessed union to woman-kind - intimacy, physical and psychical between a man and his wife. I wish to add that my state of bliss is by no means perfect.

  

  D. H. Lawrence
  • Live
  • Man
  • Perfect

• From a social networking point of view, Pakistan is not very far away.

  

  Ian Lustick
  • View
  • Networking
  • Far Away

• There is no person that love cannot heal; there is no soul that love cannot save.

  

  Carlos Santana Santana
  • Love
  • Soul
  • For Her

• So many people think that this album is showing a different side of me, but that's not really what it is. I think it's just more me this time because I got to really do it how I wanted to.

  

  Hilary Duff
  • People
  • Time
  • Different

• This having learnt, thou hast attained the sum Of wisdom; hope no higher, though all the stars Thou knew'st by name, and all th'ethereal powers, All secrets of the deep, all nature's works, Or works of God in heav'n, air, earth, or sea, And all the riches of this world enjoy'dst, And all the rule, one empire; onlyadd Deeds to thy knowledge answerable, add faith, Add virtue, patience, temperance, add love, By name to come called charity, the soul Of all the rest: then wilt thou not be loath To leave this Paradise, but shalt possess A paradise within thee, happier far.

  

  John Milton
  • Works
  • Secrets
  • Natures

• My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately want to raise the bar of dumb just a tiny bit.

  

  Natasha Leggero
  • Want
  • Comedy
  • Dumb

• Regardless of how funny I want to be, I don't ever have a problem speaking from my heart or speaking honestly to people.

  

  Mac DeMarco
  • People
  • Heart
  • Funny

• My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much.

  

  Jack Roy
  • Money
  • She
  • Wife

• When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Fighting