Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

Jim Gaffigan

• Shoes
• Balls
• Bowling

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.

  

  Karl Barth
  • Joy
  • Gratitude
  • Thankful

• I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.

  

  Jack White The White Stripes
  • Life
  • Friend
  • Wife

• I don't do grey. I like my colour, my style.

  

  Imelda May
  • Style
  • Colour
  • Grey

• I hate ugliness. You know I'm allergic to ugliness.

  

  Imelda Marcos
  • You
  • Hate
  • Know

• When I look back over my career, there was so much stress. And it was because of the business. It was always because of the business.

  

  Raine Maida
  • Business
  • Career
  • Look

• Parents need a full continuum of care and support from birth to kindergarten that is affordable and accessible - that means full day and full year. And let's not forget that even in elementary school, working parents need access to the same kind of quality, affordable after-school programs!

  

  Randi Weingarten
  • School
  • Parents
  • Support

• I was raised Catholic, and my grandmother taught me to stay. As a teenager, I thought if you went on a date, you should stay for a couple of years. I didn't realize that if he wasn't your cup of tea, you got to leave.

  

  Laura Dern
  • Couple
  • Thought
  • Teenager

• English people are famous for never speaking out but only saying what they really feel about you behind your back. Americans believe the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I like exploring those, er, differences in national snippiness.

  

  Rachel Johnson
  • People
  • Believe
  • English

• A filial son to his father can be a traitorous subject to his ruler.

  

  Han Fei
  • Father
  • Son
  • Ruler

• I write and rewrite and rewrite and write and like to turn in what I think is finished work.

  

  Gay Talese
  • Work
  • Think
  • Turn

• My confidence comes from me, not from Jon Jones. I can't draw my confidence from another person.

  

  Daniel Cormier
  • Me
  • Confidence
  • Person

• All I can do is leave it in God's hands and hope that my fans feel where I'm coming from.

  

  Aaliyah
  • God
  • Hope
  • Hands

• There is a huge crisis of employment in America, in the Western world in general.

  

  Fareed Zakaria
  • World
  • America
  • Crisis

• Most of the competition was into bulk popcorn because of the major increases in the Drive-In Theatre Outlets.

  

  Orville Redenbacher
  • Theatre
  • Competition
  • Most

• It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.

  

  Isaac Asimov
  • World
  • Today
  • Society

• When you go to commercial, you want something to call the viewers back, and if you don't have a decent act out, the audience probably won't be there in the numbers you want when the show returns.

  

  J. J. Abrams
  • Want
  • You
  • Numbers

• Cities are 2% of the earth's crust, but they are 50% of the world's population.

  

  Carlo Ratti
  • World
  • Earth
  • Population

• Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.'

  

  Gail Sheehy
  • Life
  • Party
  • Mask

• It wasn't until 9th grade that I got into music. This guy in school heard me singing around the hallway to girls and stuff. The girls liked it. One day, he was like, 'Come to my crib. I got a studio. Come and record a hook for me.' I recorded the hook on the 'Lovers & Friends' beat - Usher.

  

  Bryson Tiller
  • Music
  • School
  • Friends

• One of my most memorable moments serving the community was after I built the Live Civil Playground in Haiti, and I visited an orphanage and gave away shoes to all the kids. I also sat with them and helped them design their shoes. The smiles on their faces were priceless.

  

  Karen Civil
  • Live
  • Kids
  • Community

• More than anything else I recall being, or trying very deliberately to be, a perfect child. Not a Goody Two-shoes, but a kid who did good, who worked hard and met every expectation. I strove to achieve in the excessive way that psychotherapists tend to regard with concern.

  

  James McGreevey
  • Good
  • Trying
  • Perfect

• I like a women who's got some balls, some strength. As long as I can beat her at arm wrestling, that's fine.

  

  James Hetfield Metallica
  • Women
  • Wrestling
  • Balls

• Going to work is probably my favorite thing to do. I do that five days a week for probably ten hours a day, but it doesn't even feel like work and it shouldn't. When you enjoy a job so much like I do, it's not work, it's play.

  

  Kelli Berglund
  • Work
  • Job

• Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Shoes
  • Balls
  • Bowling