Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

Jim Gaffigan

• Shoes
• Balls
• Bowling

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Quotes to Explore

• Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.

  

  Karl Barth
  • Joy
  • Gratitude
  • Thankful

• I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.

  

  Jack White The White Stripes
  • Life
  • Friend
  • Wife

• I don't do grey. I like my colour, my style.

  

  Imelda May
  • Style
  • Colour
  • Grey

• I hate ugliness. You know I'm allergic to ugliness.

  

  Imelda Marcos
  • You
  • Hate
  • Know

• When I look back over my career, there was so much stress. And it was because of the business. It was always because of the business.

  

  Raine Maida
  • Business
  • Career
  • Look

• Parents need a full continuum of care and support from birth to kindergarten that is affordable and accessible - that means full day and full year. And let's not forget that even in elementary school, working parents need access to the same kind of quality, affordable after-school programs!

  

  Randi Weingarten
  • School
  • Parents
  • Support

• I was raised Catholic, and my grandmother taught me to stay. As a teenager, I thought if you went on a date, you should stay for a couple of years. I didn't realize that if he wasn't your cup of tea, you got to leave.

  

  Laura Dern
  • Couple
  • Thought
  • Teenager

• English people are famous for never speaking out but only saying what they really feel about you behind your back. Americans believe the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I like exploring those, er, differences in national snippiness.

  

  Rachel Johnson
  • People
  • Believe
  • English

• A filial son to his father can be a traitorous subject to his ruler.

  

  Han Fei
  • Father
  • Son
  • Ruler

• I write and rewrite and rewrite and write and like to turn in what I think is finished work.

  

  Gay Talese
  • Work
  • Think
  • Turn

• My confidence comes from me, not from Jon Jones. I can't draw my confidence from another person.

  

  Daniel Cormier
  • Me
  • Confidence
  • Person

• All I can do is leave it in God's hands and hope that my fans feel where I'm coming from.

  

  Aaliyah
  • God
  • Hope
  • Hands

• There is a huge crisis of employment in America, in the Western world in general.

  

  Fareed Zakaria
  • World
  • America
  • Crisis

• Most of the competition was into bulk popcorn because of the major increases in the Drive-In Theatre Outlets.

  

  Orville Redenbacher
  • Theatre
  • Competition
  • Most

• It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.

  

  Isaac Asimov
  • World
  • Today
  • Society

• When you go to commercial, you want something to call the viewers back, and if you don't have a decent act out, the audience probably won't be there in the numbers you want when the show returns.

  

  J. J. Abrams
  • Want
  • You
  • Numbers

• Cities are 2% of the earth's crust, but they are 50% of the world's population.

  

  Carlo Ratti
  • World
  • Earth
  • Population

• Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.'

  

  Gail Sheehy
  • Life
  • Party
  • Mask

• My motto is: look your best, feel your best, but most of all, be your best at any age.

  

  Vanessa Bell Calloway
  • Age
  • Motto
  • My Motto

• This country was founded on a promise of equal rights for all, and we have always managed to move closer to that promise, little by little, one day at a time. It may not be easy - but we'll get there together.

  

  Loretta Lynch
  • Time
  • Country
  • May

• When the phone started ringing too many times, I had to take it back to what I can handle. I take my chances on a job or a person as opposed to a situation. I don't like to have a situation placed over my head.

  

  Bill Murray
  • Job

• The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.

  

  Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  • World
  • Children
  • Society

• It is not a sign of communal well-being when men turn to their government to execute all their business for them, but rather a sign of decay, as in the United States today. The state, indeed, is but one of the devices that a really healthy community sets up to manage its affairs.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • Up
  • Men
  • Business

• Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Shoes
  • Balls
  • Bowling