Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
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I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.
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I don't do grey. I like my colour, my style.
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I hate ugliness. You know I'm allergic to ugliness.
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When I look back over my career, there was so much stress. And it was because of the business. It was always because of the business.
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Parents need a full continuum of care and support from birth to kindergarten that is affordable and accessible - that means full day and full year. And let's not forget that even in elementary school, working parents need access to the same kind of quality, affordable after-school programs!
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I was raised Catholic, and my grandmother taught me to stay. As a teenager, I thought if you went on a date, you should stay for a couple of years. I didn't realize that if he wasn't your cup of tea, you got to leave.
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English people are famous for never speaking out but only saying what they really feel about you behind your back. Americans believe the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I like exploring those, er, differences in national snippiness.
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A filial son to his father can be a traitorous subject to his ruler.
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I write and rewrite and rewrite and write and like to turn in what I think is finished work.
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My confidence comes from me, not from Jon Jones. I can't draw my confidence from another person.
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All I can do is leave it in God's hands and hope that my fans feel where I'm coming from.
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There is a huge crisis of employment in America, in the Western world in general.
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Most of the competition was into bulk popcorn because of the major increases in the Drive-In Theatre Outlets.
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It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.
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When you go to commercial, you want something to call the viewers back, and if you don't have a decent act out, the audience probably won't be there in the numbers you want when the show returns.
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Cities are 2% of the earth's crust, but they are 50% of the world's population.
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Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.'
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They say a lot of women would like to see me naked, but there's not a lens long enough for that.
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It's quite funny. I grew up with my mother: as a designer, she was always working, and I actually used to say to her, 'Whatever you do, never leave me your business.'
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Apartment stacked to the ceiling with newspapers, we call him crazy. If a woman has a trailer house full of cats, we call her nuts. But when people pathologically hoard so much cash that they impoverish the entire nation, we put them on the cover of Fortune magazine and pretend that they are role models.
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If you can remember anything about the sixties, you weren't really there.
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Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.
