Jim Gaffigan Quotes

When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

Jim Gaffigan

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• Open Mind

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Quotes to Explore

• Most of the time, the lyrics are kind of like my secret messages to my friends or my boyfriend or my mom or my dad. I would never tell them that these songs are about them or which specific lyric is about somebody. Often, when I sit down to write a lyric, it is in the heat of the moment, and something has just happened.

  

  Imogen Heap
  • Time
  • Friends
  • Dad

• The fact is we can only love what we know personally. And we cannot know much. In public affairs, in the rebuilding of civilization, something less dramatic and emotional is needed, namely tolerance.

  

  E. M. Forster
  • Love
  • Know
  • Tolerance

• Insight enables you make sure you don't allow negative beliefs to get permanently set in your thinking - just the same way you wouldn't want fractured bones to be permanently set into place.

  

  Karen Salmansohn
  • Thinking
  • Want
  • Negative

• I want to give my followers a positive message. I want to give those girls a positive message who have been forcefully married, who continue to sacrifice. I want to be an example for those people. That's my aim.

  

  Qandeel Baloch
  • People
  • Positive
  • Sacrifice

• I will tell you with 100 percent confidence, Jon Jones is not deep in my head. The fact he actually thinks that, it makes me smile every day.

  

  Daniel Cormier
  • Day
  • Confidence
  • Deep

• You know, I believe that technology is the great leveler. Technology permits anybody to play. And in some ways, I think technology - it's not only a great tool for democratization, but it's a great tool for eliminating prejudice and advancing meritocracies.

  

  Carly Fiorina
  • Great
  • Believe
  • Technology

• Being in a wheelchair for 30 years. I'm not whining about it because I don't dwell on things I can't do anything about, you know. I never really think about until somebody mentions it. I did take a bullet.

  

  Larry Flynt
  • Think
  • Know
  • Never

• 'Trolls' was a blank slate - there was no world, no mythology. We talked a lot about the Grinch and we liked how they showed his heart growing, but how do you show a photographable device like that for the Bergens? We ended up using color for a lot of that: desaturating and then pulling the saturation up.

  

  Walt Dohrn
  • Up
  • World
  • Heart

• I'm all about a flat shoe. It takes a lot to get me into a heel!

  

  Rachael Taylor
  • Me
  • Takes
  • Shoe

• I try to be this kind of player: the type who does something whenever he gets the ball. Sometimes in the past, I've gone through games where I've not touched the ball for 20 or 30 minutes.

  

  Eden Hazard
  • Past
  • Kind
  • Player

• I didn't understand key signatures or anything, you know. I'd say silly things at the top of a trumpet part like, 'Note, when you play B naturals, make the B naturals a half step lower because they sound funny if they're B naturals.' And some guy said: 'Idiot, just put a flat on the third line and it's a key signature, you know?'

  

  Quincy Jones
  • Guy
  • Funny
  • Silly

• When you work as hard as you can and as much as you can to make your first album, and you don't make any money, then you change things.

  

  Adam Ant Adam and the Ants
  • Work
  • Money
  • Change

• I can only hope that my future movies will do well.

  

  Mahesh Babu
  • Hope
  • Future
  • Movies

• If you only believe that you're an artist when you have a big advance in your pocket and a single coming out, I would say that's quite soulless. You have to have a sense of your own greatness and your own ability from a very deep place inside you. I am the one with the litmus test in my hands of what people need to hear next.

  

  Lady Gaga
  • People
  • Believe
  • Single

• The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.

  

  Ursula K. Le Guin
  • You
  • Yourself
  • Questions

• People I respect complimenting me on my work in fashion is more exciting to me than anything I ever achieved as a Spice Girl. I am now competing in an arena where I can hold my head high. I feel quite confident in what I'm doing now, much more than the singing. I was never going to give Mariah Carey any competition.

  

  Victoria Beckham Spice Girls
  • People
  • Work
  • High

• Racism is everywhere - the older generations in Malaysia still say things like, 'She's darker-skinned; maybe don't marry her,' and it's very judgmental. A lot of girls do try to get fairness cream to lighten their skin, and I'm against all of that.

  

  Yuna
  • Racism
  • Generations
  • Fairness

• The economic sense of possibility was so great when I was growing up that my parents had no question that I could do anything I wanted to do, even as a girl. I've always believed that the economics of a story intersects with the women's story - that stuff often happens at the time it happens because of the economy.

  

  Gail Collins
  • Up
  • Time
  • Great

• When God created you, He went to great lengths to make you exactly the way He wanted you to be. You are His ultimate work of art.

  

  Victoria Osteen
  • Work
  • Great
  • God

• The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.

  

  Bill Vaughan

• There's fear in everything, but we can't just succumb to that. We have to suppress it, so we get used to suppressing fear to make it through the our day. Otherwise, we'd become paralyzed by them.

  

  Eli Roth
  • Fear

• I foresee the day when we shall read nothing but telegrams and prayers.

  

  Emil Cioran

• I once knew a house rather like The Land of Smiles - an old house occupied by a varied collection of young people, mainly students. However none of these people were true models for the characters in the book, though their way of life may have been.

  

  Margaret Mahy
  • People
  • Life
  • May

• When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Book
  • Kids
  • Open Mind