Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"

Quotes to Explore
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We continue to be bullish on China.
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The poem 'What Teachers Make' is not without its detractors. This one person wrote to me and said: 'Gee, Mr. Mali. You don't possibly have a teacher – God complex, do you?' And that was the first time I'd ever heard of that expression. So, yeah, I'm sure I have a teacher – God complex.
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The Constitution isn't written in Chinese, Swahili or Sanskrit. It's in plain English.
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Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance.
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I love Queen Latifah! Queen Latifah is so beautiful! Every time you see her, if it's in a cosmetics ad, or on the red carpet, she's always flawless.
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I am not one of these guys who works job after job after job.
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Capitalism is about adventurers who get harmed by their mistakes, not people who harm others with their mistakes.
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I just don't think men fancy me.
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One of life's fundamental truths states, 'Ask and you shall receive.' As kids we get used to asking for things, but somehow we lose this ability in adulthood. We come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons to avoid any possibility of criticism or rejection.
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In football, there were drinks available everywhere you looked. On a golf tournament, you could find one free anywhere you wanted it. In tennis and NBA basketball, everybody had a hospitality suite, and so you could go there and load up if you wanted to.
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Themes only arise after a novel is written, and people begin to try to talk about it.
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It's not like I have the most perfect body in the world. I'm a normal girl.
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I'm vehemently against population transfer. I'm against expelling anyone from his house, ever - whether it be a Jew or an Arab.
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I read all the time that people think I'm arrogant. They say I am cocky, a bad character. I had that from a young age. But when they meet me, they say, 'That image doesn't fit you.'
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I stand on my public record as a defender of the human rights of Muslims, notably my work for Moazzam Begg and other British Muslims detained without trial in Guantanamo Bay.
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I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today.
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I want more women to run countries. There'd be more peace on Earth.
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Art is more engaging that propaganda.
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I was, if you like, a successful schoolboy in that I had a degree of talent in all the required things that make you a success at school.
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Capitalism is in crisis.
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We must beware of yielding to the pressure of a spirit of cowardly conformity which proclaims itself everybody's friend in the hope that everybody will obligingly return the compliment.
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You've got to know business before you go to show business.
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I play for the America that embraces refugees from war-torn nations, for the America that welcomes all people who want the chance to experience the American Dream, for the America that appreciates the contributions from all the people it shelters.
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Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"