Jo Brand Quotes
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When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.
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To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.
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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
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People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.
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I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
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With proper acting, I don't know what I would play - I got sent a script for a play, and it said in the notes that my proposed character was 'hideously fat and ugly'. That made my day. I mean, I do know I am no oil painting.
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I love everything about books. I love the content, the way they look and even the lovely way they smell. I think a book collection says something about you as a person, and certainly my books are something I'd want to pass on for future generations.
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Wild men are so enormously attractive.
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I like to read my diary occasionally to remind myself what a miserable, alienated old sod I used to be.
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Some men are deeply likable but have attitudes I don't like. Does that mean I should completely dismiss them? It's like saying: if someone votes Tory can you like them? And, yes, I can. I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways. We have a tendency to oversimplify things.
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Jeremy Clarkson is rather charming, but I can't stomach his public persona. I don't like his casual racism and casual misogyny.
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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
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The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.
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I've always liked to think I could do anything I wished as well as - if not better than - a man. But I wasn't very good at rally driving.
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It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.
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People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up.
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My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
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I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
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Again, with two small children it's incredibly hard to commit yourself to anything because you're just getting interested in it and someone comes along and goes I want Thomas The Tank Engine on, and screams the place down until you put it on.
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Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
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I am a hip-hop artist, as you probably know. My hip-hop name is Big Smalls.
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
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I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.
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There's a general sense that women are more relaxed and less defensive in comedy than they used to be. I think it's easier than it was but underlying it all there is still a pretty sexist view of women on stage, which to me hasn't changed that much.