Jo Brand Quotes
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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
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Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley dullards with barely a personality between them.
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I can honestly say I've never sold any arms to a repressive foreign regime while reassuring everyone at home that the weapons will be used for nice things.
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My mum is bright, ambitious, well read, political and very bolshie: when my dad was conscripted into the Army and posted to Libya, she convinced some general to let her go with him. I don't know how she managed it.
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I've never been a fan of euphemism.
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
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Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky.
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And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
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My personal opinion is that you can't be racist towards white people. You can be prejudiced about them, but being prejudiced isn't an illegal act, whereas being racist can be.
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With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.
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I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that.
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Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone.
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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
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I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
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My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
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There's lots of different feminist groups. It's not as straightforward as just looking like a plumber.
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As the Tories know, the problem with setting yourself up as a shining example for others to follow is that when you get caught out, that proverbial substance really hits the fan.
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I read that book 'Fat is a Feminist Issue', got a bit desperate halfway through and ate it.
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I used to get nervous about three weeks before a gig... now I've managed to condense it down to a manageable ten minutes.
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I've always been criticised for how filthy my material is. Victoria Wood said to me once, 'I wish I was a bit ruder, like you,' and I said, 'Well, I wish I was a bit cleaner, like you.'