Jo Brand Quotes
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There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn't mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
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I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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I like to shock people.
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
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It's actually very hard when you're settled in one place to completely uproot yourself and go.
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
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I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.
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How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
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I remember when Victoria Wood started to come through, and I thought she was great, though she and I are very different in our approach.
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I think actors go along a continuum from Simon Callow down to kind of Ross Kemp, and I like to think of myself as the Ross Kemp of comedy. He's very good in 'East Enders' because he plays a version of himself. I think I can play a version of myself - that's about all I can do.
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What they did was to make a pilot and it may well go to series at the next festival but I don't have any news on that. It's already been on Paramount actually, but as it's on Paramount it'll probably be on several more times... hopefully.
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I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.
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So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently.
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I cannot abide anyone treating another human being like a piece of dirt, whatever the context.
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I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
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There have been some very extreme hecklers in audiences whose bile was so hateful and so meant that it would be a bit frightening to think that all I'm doing is jokes and yet someone hates me that much.
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When you have children, your house smells very unpleasant all the time.
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There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.
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Not many women will go out on a limb to make themselves really unattractive and unfeminine so you can get the laughs, but it's a great thing to do in my book.
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We women continue to swallow this line that it's unladylike or even proof of being a lesbian if you wear flat shoes like Doc Martens. I'm prepared to put up with that accusation, because at least my feet aren't killing me and I don't look like a bandy ostrich.
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I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it.
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Each generation has a backlash against the generation before.
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If you're a fat person - and especially if you're a woman - at all stages of your life you'll get abuse for it, so you have to work out a way of dealing with it. The best way is to be humorous about it - that defuses any tension.