Jo Brand Quotes
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What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
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A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.
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No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
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The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
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Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy.
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I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
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I've seen a lot of women give up after they've had three or four bad gigs in a row. It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.
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I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time; I loved it out of season and when it was rough.
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You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.
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I wasn't one of those hideous children who make their parents sit through hour-long performances when you're seven. I didn't do anything like that thankfully.
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When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts.
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I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.
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I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
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People can forgive each other.
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I had always fancied a go at the comedy and when it started to go reasonably well and the opportunity arose for me to move into it full time, I just couldn't turn it down. I just took the risk, and I just wanted to see if it would work and thankfully it did.
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I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
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I suspect most politicians feel overwhelmed because people's lives are a real struggle, full of unhappiness, and you would probably feel powerless to do anything about it.
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Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
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I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
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There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn't mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
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I like to shock people.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.