Jo Brand Quotes
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The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
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Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy.
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What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
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People can forgive each other.
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I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
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I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.
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I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
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No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
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Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
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A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.
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When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts.
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I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
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I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
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You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
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What they did was to make a pilot and it may well go to series at the next festival but I don't have any news on that. It's already been on Paramount actually, but as it's on Paramount it'll probably be on several more times... hopefully.
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Anybody who has had the pleasure of reading an article about themselves in the press knows that, on the whole, there is a huge amount of inaccuracy, value judgment and the use of a crowbar to insert editorial bias that reflects the current political leaning of that particular paper.
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There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn't mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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I like to shock people.
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'