Jo Brand Quotes
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I thought I was funny as a kid.
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I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.
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I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.
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When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts.
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There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn't mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
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I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.
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I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
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I remember when Victoria Wood started to come through, and I thought she was great, though she and I are very different in our approach.
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
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I cannot abide anyone treating another human being like a piece of dirt, whatever the context.
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
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So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently.
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I've seen a lot of women give up after they've had three or four bad gigs in a row. It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
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I'm just trying to spread the word and upturn the myth that actually you should be resting after cancer treatment. You shouldn't; you should be getting out and doing any kind of exercise you can. You don't have to run a marathon, but you just have to up your activity levels.
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I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do.
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The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
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I've never been a fan of euphemism.
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I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.
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I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
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Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley dullards with barely a personality between them.
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A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.