Jo Brand Quotes
-
What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
-
I wasn't one of those hideous children who make their parents sit through hour-long performances when you're seven. I didn't do anything like that thankfully.
-
I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.
-
I used to do bell ringing in Benenden church. It was really good fun, actually. My best friend's dad was the local vicar, and so it was expected as her best friend that I would go to church every Sunday with her.
-
Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
-
No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
-
A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.
-
I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
-
Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy.
-
Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.
-
People can forgive each other.
-
When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts.
-
You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.
-
Anybody who has had the pleasure of reading an article about themselves in the press knows that, on the whole, there is a huge amount of inaccuracy, value judgment and the use of a crowbar to insert editorial bias that reflects the current political leaning of that particular paper.
-
I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.
-
I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
-
There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn't mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
-
I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
-
I suspect most politicians feel overwhelmed because people's lives are a real struggle, full of unhappiness, and you would probably feel powerless to do anything about it.
-
I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
-
I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
-
When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
-
I remember when Victoria Wood started to come through, and I thought she was great, though she and I are very different in our approach.
-
I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.