Jo Brand Quotes
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What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
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I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
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I've seen a lot of women give up after they've had three or four bad gigs in a row. It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.
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No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
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The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
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I wasn't one of those hideous children who make their parents sit through hour-long performances when you're seven. I didn't do anything like that thankfully.
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Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy.
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You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.
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Anybody who has had the pleasure of reading an article about themselves in the press knows that, on the whole, there is a huge amount of inaccuracy, value judgment and the use of a crowbar to insert editorial bias that reflects the current political leaning of that particular paper.
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When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts.
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People can forgive each other.
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
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I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.
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I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.
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I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time; I loved it out of season and when it was rough.
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I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
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I suspect most politicians feel overwhelmed because people's lives are a real struggle, full of unhappiness, and you would probably feel powerless to do anything about it.
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Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
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I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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I like to shock people.