Joe R. Lansdale Quotes

If you don't toot your own horn, it goeth untooted.

Joe R. Lansdale

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• For us, overseas employment addresses two major problems: unemployment and the balance of payments position.

  

  Ferdinand Marcos
  • Balance
  • Problems

• Mark Wahlberg, when I was in high school, people were like, 'You look like Marky Mark!' Then as I got older, they were like, 'You look like Donnie Wahlberg.' Now they're like, 'You look like Donnie Wahlberg's cousin from Massachusetts.'

  

  Ike Barinholtz
  • People
  • School
  • High

• If a strong government finds that it can, with impunity, destroy a weak people, then the hour has struck for that weak people to appeal to the League of Nations to give its judgment in all freedom. God and history will remember your judgment.

  

  Haile Selassie
  • People
  • God
  • Remember

• I really, really enjoy comedy. I think that's one of my strong suits. It's my zone. And people don't expect it from me, which is a whammy.

  

  Bar Paly
  • People
  • Strong
  • Me

• I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt.

  

  Edna O'Brien
  • Long
  • Catholic
  • Irish

• I just have an inability to lie.

  

  Paloma Faith
  • Just
  • Lie
  • Inability

• This is very intriguing to think we should audit the Fed, but I discovered that probably if they audited the Fed, it would get a clean bill because it's undoubtedly doing exactly what it's supposed to do according to the law.

  

  G. Edward Griffin
  • Think
  • Law
  • Doing

• I think I'm like wine. The older I get, the better I get.

  

  Zlatan Ibrahimovic
  • Think
  • Better
  • Wine

• On TV, if you fluff your lines, nobody gives a toss. But if you fluff a penalty in the World Cup, well - we all know how much that matters.

  

  Gary Lineker
  • World
  • Know
  • Nobody

• I know my music is going well when I don't have insomnia.

  

  Carly Rae Jepsen
  • Music
  • Know
  • Insomnia

• I have a tendency to lean towards a more retro look.

  

  Haley Bennett
  • Look
  • More
  • Retro

• The reality is that there are so few roles out there for women and for women of color, and I'm a character actor, this I know. And I'm getting to see more of the roles that are out there, but there aren't many. And zilch have been studio movies. Zilch.

  

  Octavia Spencer
  • Women
  • Character
  • Reality

• make drawings of series of instruments and players; their shapes, twisting of the hands, arms and neck of the violinist; for example, puffing out and hollowing of the cheeks of bassoonists, oboists, etc..

  

  Edgar Degas

• Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?What started out to be a joke, the law don't understand.Was it singing through my nose that got me busted by the man?Maybe this here outlaw bit has done got out of hand.

  

  Waylon Jennings
  • Done
  • Law
  • Hand

• Mr. Neo-Angular – I am doing my duty. My ethics are based on dogma, not on feeling. Vertue – I know that a rule is to be obeyed because it is a rule and not because it appeals to my feelings at the moment.

  

  C. S. Lewis
  • Feeling
  • Ethics

• ...thousands of little children occupy sleeping quarters with parents and boarders whose every act is visible to all. Morality indeed! Society is much like the ostrich with its head in the sand. It will not look at facts and face the responsibility of its own stupidity.

  

  Margaret Sanger
  • Children
  • Parents
  • Society

• To understand the actual world as it is, not as we should wish it to be, is the beginning of wisdom.

  

  Bertrand Russell
  • World
  • Wish
  • Wisdom

• When I put out a tweet and I put Reince's name in a tweet, they're all making the assumption that it's him because journalists know who the leakers are. So if Reince wants to explain he's not a leaker, let him do that. But let me tell you about myself. I'm a straight shooter and I'll go right to the heart of the matter.

  

  Anthony Scaramucci
  • Heart
  • Assumption

• The rat had no morals, no conscience, no scruples, no consideration, no decency, no milk of rodent kindness, no compunctions, no higher feeling, no friendliness, no anything

  

  E. B. White
  • Feeling
  • Feelings
  • Kindness

• If I wasn't modelling, I guess I would work in fashion as a buyer.

  

  Georgia Salpa
  • Work
  • Modelling
  • Buyer

• Mouth with my hand as I look up to his dark eyes, eyes that crinkle a little at the corners. He smooths back my hair from my forehead. “Is that happiness too?” I let go of a soft laugh. “I don’t know. Let me try again.” And I pull him closer, lean back, and invite him to press into me as the ferry chugs across the water and the family nearby shrieks over raindrops that start to fall. I’m aware of a big drop that splashes on my forehead and a pair.

  

  Barbara O'Neal
  • Family
  • Eyes
  • Laugh

• I don't care more about '13' because it's in the Olivier than I did about 'Cock' in a 100-seat studio. They both matter because it's still a person sat there watching your play. And the play has to be good enough - because there are a hundred other writers out there who deserve to have their play on instead.

  

  Mike Bartlett
  • Enough
  • Matter
  • Because

• If you don't toot your own horn, it goeth untooted.

  

  Joe R. Lansdale