Joel McHale Quotes
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In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!
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I don't feel any pressure to joke about #MeToo - in fact, I'd say you shouldn't, because it's a great movement that is exposing some really awful behavior and hopefully changing the culture.
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With 'The Soup,' obviously it has to be totally scripted out, and then, within that, I improvise punchlines and sometimes setups if I can't read the teleprompter properly.
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The editors and the creators of 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette,' they are so good at casting and at finding these young, beautiful lunatics to go on the show.
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I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
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Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
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I couldn't read the way that other students read, so I would just cheat, which, in my silly brain, I was like, 'This is a skill that I'm developing - how to just get around everything!'
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My children do not know what it's like to flip around channels. They either go to Netflix, Apple TV, or they pull up YouTube, and they can watch their shows.
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Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
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Now I tell my mom, I go, 'Mom, you know when I was a kid and you told me to turn off the television and go outside and play?' I'd be like, 'You literally were hurting my career when you did that. You literally stopped me from doing now, what I do for a living.'
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E! didn't like it when we'd make fun of clips from ESPN - they'd be like, 'That's sports! That's not our audience!'
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When E! ended the show, it wasn't because it was low-rated. It was because E! did not want to pay union rerun dues.
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When you are an actor or trying to be a working actor in L.A., most people have commercial agents, and then they have legitimate agents, and you just end up going on a thousand auditions.
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'Big Brother,' I can't believe people watch. It's just people whispering to each other for hours and then some silly challenge like, who can pull the most stones out of a stuffed alligator, with some product tie-in.
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On 'The Soup,' we were never a political show.
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I knew I was good at sports, and I knew I loved acting and performing, so I really dove into that, and school always became secondary.
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I like anything with Zak Bagans and ghost hunters.
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Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.
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Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
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You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
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I always excelled in sports, so I knew I had advantages there. That really gave me, like, confidence and self-esteem.
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There are always ridiculous things on television or on the Internet that make people go, 'Did you see that?' That could be anything from a clip from the 'Real Housewives' to someone jumping off their roof and missing the pool to a zillion other things.
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Netflix is just wonderful.
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All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh.