Larry David Quotes
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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I don't have many friends.
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There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
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I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.
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I don't like people cleaning my room.
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I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
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If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
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I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.
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There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
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Most people think I'm immodest.
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
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I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.'
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It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.
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It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.
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I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
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Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.