Larry David Quotes
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No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
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I don't have many friends.
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I don't like people cleaning my room.
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I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.
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I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
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If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.
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When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
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If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable.
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
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Most people think I'm immodest.
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There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
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I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.'
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It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
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It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.