Larry David Quotes
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I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
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Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
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It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
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You know, I'm really not that bright.
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Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.
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Let's not forget, I got divorced.
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There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.
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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero.
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I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
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I have no secrets.
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I just feed off the energy of the audience.
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At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.