Larry David Quotes
-
I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it.
-
Women love a self-confident bald man.
-
I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
-
There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
-
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
-
Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
-
I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
-
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
-
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
-
I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
-
It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
-
I can't stand reading anything that I've said.
-
Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
-
I have to let him know that he's potentially destroying his movie, that he could be making a terrible, terrible error. I needed to let him know that I didn't know or think that I was capable of doing this.
-
Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.
-
I have no secrets.
-
I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
-
You know, I'm really not that bright.
-
Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
-
There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
-
I'm a walking, talking enigma.
-
People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue.
-
Golf and dating don't mix.
-
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.