Larry David Quotes
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It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
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Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
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I'm anti-cheese in a salad.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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I have reservations about everything I do.
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You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
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I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.
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I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
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I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.
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OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy.
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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
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I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.
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When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street - things like that.
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Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.
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Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.