John Mulaney Quotes

Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.

John Mulaney

• Funny
• Awesome

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Quotes to Explore

• To be able to sit back and enjoy the game, sit back and watch guys that you know played and you might have worked with it or you personally know, it's cool; it's awesome to sit back and say I know that guy because you're more of a fan of that game and that person.

  

  Calvin Johnson
  • Guy
  • Game
  • Cool

• I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Experience
  • Beautiful
  • Girl

• When you're in a songwriting class, and you write a song, and you hand it in to a teacher to grade, I'm still going to say that it's a really awesome song whether I got an A or a D. I learned to stick to my guns and take the tools as tools and not as rules.

  

  Madi Diaz
  • Song
  • Hand
  • Teacher

• I don't have the looks to compete at a bar, and I'm not that funny. So the last thing I want is to be in a situation where that's what I'm competing on. I'd rather be on OkCupid or Match, where I can write a 300-word essay about myself that's really good.

  

  Sam Yagan
  • Good
  • Funny
  • Myself

• David Bowie was awesome the easiest, coolest interview I have ever done.

  

  Rachel Perry
  • Done
  • Awesome
  • Interview

• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • American
  • Funny
  • Nobody

• It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.

  

  Karl Lagerfeld
  • Funny
  • Thought
  • Clothes

• People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

  

  Isaac Asimov
  • People
  • Great
  • Funny

• My mom is awesome. She's really young. My mom is 40, and she raised me listening to Nirvana and Courtney Love and Coldplay, Gin Blossoms, The Cranberries, and stuff. Like, my early, early memories are of being a little kid running around in floral skirts and Doc Martens when I was, like, three.

  

  Halsey
  • Mom
  • Memories
  • Awesome

• What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.

  

  Oscar Isaac
  • Time
  • Funny
  • Street

• I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.'

  

  Tao Lin
  • People
  • Funny
  • Me

• It's so funny: at 'SNL,' Bill Hader always kind of treated me like his little sister and would kind of, like, lovingly bully me.

  

  Vanessa Bayer
  • Funny
  • Me
  • Sister

• I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.

  

  Hannibal Buress
  • Different
  • Heart
  • Funny

• I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.

  

  Edmund Hillary
  • Great
  • True
  • Funny

• I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously.

  

  Rachel Weisz
  • Character
  • Think
  • Funny

• Everybody in the South loves the one closeted homosexual who's married. It's just too funny to not have in a movie about the South. It's an epidemic. You gotta represent!

  

  Tate Taylor
  • Movie
  • You
  • Funny

• I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

  

  Mae West
  • Funny
  • Snow
  • White

• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

  

  P. G. Wodehouse
  • Funny
  • End
  • Gun

• I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.

  

  Kaley Cuoco
  • Funny
  • Feel
  • Audience

• I became a student of the history of religion. I am fascinated by how religions often center on mystical experience, and in the Old Testament tradition you find flames, the burning bush.

  

  Barbara Ehrenreich
  • Experience
  • History
  • Student

• Who you know, 10 albums later, get better than he's ever been before? It's hard. To come from all this huge success like a 'What's Love,' and a 'Lean Back,' then take it back to the street with 'The Darkside.'

  

  Fat Joe
  • Success
  • Know
  • Like

• We're going to try and prove to the market that you can do a legal coin offering. If the SEC doesn't crack down, this party will be amazing - the biggest party in town for a long time. If they do crack down, a lot of people are going to feel a lot of pain.

  

  Naval Ravikant
  • People
  • Time
  • Long

• Every barrel of oil that we produce around the world benefits Americans because it keeps prices down. We can talk more later about American energy independence, but the facts are, every barrel we produce helps Americans because it keeps prices down.

  

  John S. Watson
  • World
  • American
  • Energy

• Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.

  

  John Mulaney
  • Funny
  • Awesome