Mae West Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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I'd imagine my wedding as a fairy tale... huge, beautiful and white.
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When you're a woman, you have to work harder to get a laugh... I follow so many hilarious women on Twitter. It's a daily reminder that women get to be funny.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don't know what to tell them.
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I did accents and funny voices for the family when I was growing up.
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My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.
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I have an unfortunate personality.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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I like children - fried.
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I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?
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Cyberpunk was really a reaction against old boy sci-fi which was about white guys in space who would come up with some kind of technological thing.
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I was in the trade field as White House fellow in the first Bush administration.
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Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans.
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
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I'm not very funny!
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Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
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Whether you breach the Fourth Amendment 20 percent of the time or 100 percent of the time, it's still not the point. The point is whether or not you still collect millions of people's information with a single warrant.
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Magic speaks to the child in all of us. No matter how sophisticated we become, there's still a part of us who wants to believe in an alternative reality, where we can defy the laws of nature.
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Science starts with preconception, with the common culture, and with common sense. It moves on to observation, is marked by the discovery of paradox, and is then concerned with the correction of preconception. It moves then to use these corrections for the designing of further observation and for more refined experiment. And as it moves along this course the nature of the evidence and experience that nourish it becomes more and more unfamiliar; it is not just the language that is strange [to common culture].
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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
