Joseph Heller Quotes

The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

• Promise
• Maniacs

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Quotes to Explore

• Before success comes in any man's life, he's sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit. That's exactly what the majority of men do.

  

  Napoleon Hill
  • Life
  • Men
  • Success

• I've never so appreciated what actors do and how strange it is.

  

  Ira Glass
  • Never
  • Strange
  • Appreciated

• A lot of what the 'Culture' is about is a reaction to all the science fiction I was reading in my very early teens.

  

  Iain Banks
  • Science
  • Culture
  • Reading

• Hold everybody accountable? Ridiculous!

  

  W. Edwards Deming
  • Everybody
  • Ridiculous
  • Hold

• I was never a Boy Scout, but oh, I wanted to be one when I was a kid about ten or eleven years old. But there wasn't anyplace where I could ever join the Boy Scouts.

  

  Carl Barks
  • Never
  • Boy
  • Old

• I really love people. I love to meet people. I'm curious about people.

  

  Zoe Kazan
  • People
  • Love
  • Curious

• I always carry a Tom Ford lipstick and Tachta face blotters to get me through the day.

  

  Rachel Zoe
  • Me
  • Day
  • Always

• Having an animal that you fix, knowing that you saved its life or you saved a pet - Like on a dog, these little kids will come, and their dog is just ready to die, and you do something, and they leave happy. The kids are happy, and the little puppy is licking your hand. Those are kind of neat feelings.

  

  Ted Yoho
  • Life
  • Kids
  • Happy

• There's thieves among us Painting the wallsAll kinds of lies, and liesI never told it all

  

  Zooey Deschanel
  • Painting
  • Lies

• In England a man is presoomed to be innocent till he's proved guilty an' they take it f 'r granted he's guilty. In this counthry a man is presoomed to be guilty ontil he's proved guilty an' afther that he's presoomed to be innocent.

  

  Finley Peter Dunne
  • Guilty
  • Innocent

• There is a wisdom of the Head, and … there is a wisdom of the Heart.

  

  Charles Dickens
  • Heart
  • Wisdom

• I have increasingly, over the years, felt that religion today does our civilization more harm than good.

  

  Mary Douglas
  • Good
  • Today

• If it had been what was supposed to happen, it would have happened.

  

  Allan Houston

• I think I was probably always a liar; I just get paid for it now.

  

  Jason Isaacs
  • Liar

• The truth is the middle class is not only stagnant but it is my fear that, without sustained and focused action, it is at risk of disappearing.

  

  Jan Schakowsky
  • Truth
  • Fear
  • Action

• I still have drive, but everything is relative.

  

  Don Rickles

• In real life I am a bit of a tomboy. I like the footy and sports. I am more comfortable in running gear than I am in heels, because I usually trip up in them.

  

  Anna Hutchison
  • Life
  • Up
  • Real

• My childhood is in my brother's house, and I like to visit there and be reminded.

  

  Ellen Gilchrist
  • House
  • Brother
  • Childhood

• My collections are full of adaptable pieces: within the energetic lifestyle of L.A., they are able to take you from the beach in Malibu to the red carpet in Hollywood.

  

  Matthew Williamson
  • Red
  • Beach

• To wait for hours to buy a train ticket or to see a doctor is accepted as a normal way of doing things. Privacy is not a great preoccupation, and this is a very crowded country.

  

  Nancy Travis
  • Great
  • Country
  • Train

• Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.” “I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity.

  

  Rachel Caine
  • Fall
  • Doubt
  • Chance

• Films are big hits when they touch a lot of people. Things are not funny in a vacuum, they're funny because we respond to some personal dislocation, some embarrassment, some humiliation, some pain we've suffered, or some desire we have.

  

  Harold Ramis
  • People
  • Funny
  • Desire

• The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

  

  Joseph Heller
  • Promise
  • Maniacs