Josh Ryan Evans Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.
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I was elected on April 13 and sworn in two days later, so I had no orientation. I had to figure things out as I went along.
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I know I'm good enough. I don't need to show it to you. Either you know who I am, or you don't.
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I like '50s and '60s American art. I have 85 or 90 Warhols.
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Television offered me the opportunity to do new things; I had written a lot of scripts other than scary movies. I had actually written some romantic comedies and stuff that I really wanted to try my hand at, and nobody would let me do that. Television allowed me to do anything I wanted.
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Politics is largely a matter of heart.
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I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.
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If you ask three people what it means to be Christian, you will get three different answers. Some feel being baptized is sufficient. Others feel you must accept the Bible as immutable historical fact. Still others require a belief that all those who do not accept Christ as their personal savior are doomed to hell.
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We are building a company, Gemini, and the ETF, which is another company. I don't know if we're experts, but the goal is not to be an expert but to change the world. Does Richard Branson understand all the physics behind his space craft? I'm not sure.
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I'm a very simple man. You've got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off... and the nightmare continues.
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Being a full human being is difficult, frightening, and problematical.
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What ObamaCare did was take some of the things we did for the poor and expanded the government to basically the whole marketplace.
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I've got two small kids. I want to make sure they grow up to be good people. Do they treat people well? Are they kind?
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I come with bad genetics, personally.
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I have spoken to a whole group of millionaires, head executives at Microsoft. Boy did I chew those guys out.
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Many businesses oppose any government mandates, even if they are already following them.
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I feel I'm an actress who sings a bit.
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If you chomp down too hard on my work, you're going to break your teeth.
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My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.
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Democracy presumes that we're all created equal; competition proves we are not, or else every race would end in a tie.
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It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central, and they've been good to me.
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Before you heal the body you must first heal the mind.
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It is not the size of the dreamer, it is the size of the dream.
